As Covid-19 places unprecedented challenges on all of us and our society, it is even more important to ensure that Domestic Abuse is addressed on our Island and that the DA Bill continues to progress and becomes Law, rather than becoming lost and forgotten as the government inevitably (and essentially) focusses on containing the virus and keeping residents safe. Residents cannot be "safe", however, unless they are also safe from abuse and emotional harm. This week I have been appalled by our Chief Constable's words on a 71% rise in Domestic Abuse reporting. His language displayed a gross lack of understanding, highlighted the need for training and awareness raising, and also displayed a minimising and dismissive attitude. His comment that a 71% rise in reporting "indicates to us [the Police] that people are finding it difficult to be with each another" totally misrepresents DA, it exhibits victim blaming, suggesting this is a problem between 2 people who do not get along, rather than a problem rooted in one person's sense of entitlement and need to control. His words are insulting to victims, minimising their experience and reducing it to an "argument". This is aggravated by his terminology: "Domestic Disputes" rather than "domestic abuse". Domestic Abuse is nothing to do with arguments, "disputes", or anger. It is about power and control. That the head of our police service does not recognise this is truly shocking and demoralising. Additionally, does the Chief Constable not think a 71% rise is of importance? He spent barely 25 words on this issue before moving on, and added a comment about numbers still being "low".
His language also blurs lines and creates confusion: if he is taking about the police being called out because people have had an argument then he should choose language that does not link this to Domestic Abuse; if, as his words have certainly been widely interpreted, he was referring to Domestic Abuse, then he needs to name abuse for what it is - Abuse, not "dispute". And bluntly, he and his Officers need to understand the difference!
A dispute is a disagreement - we all have them. Abuse is an ongoing pattern of behaviour, designed to control, degrade, humiliate, manipulate and subjugate another person. 1:4 people are subjected to it, and it is a serious issue with long lasting and often devastating impacts.
Abuse is not caused by covid-19 isolation regulations, or by alcohol, or by mental health, and the people enduring abuse will have been doing so before Covid-19 exacerbated the situation and will be doing so long after Covid-19 has passed. The point is that isolation of the victim from sources of support is a main tool of an abusive person and that the current Covid-19 regulations will be increasing this isolation while also reducing opportunities for people to leave and escape the abuse. Possibilities for physically avoiding or escaping an abusive or violent outburst are reduced when you are confined under one roof with your abuser. Social contacts that you might usually have that might alleviate the effects of the abuse and help you get through your day are cut off. Time in the day when you would usually have breathing space away from your abuser (maybe he/she or both of you would usually be at work or out taking the children to school etc) has ended - there is no breathing space. Where you could perhaps go out several times a day for that "breathing space" you are now only allowed out once. Your fear is heightened. Your anxiety is constant. Since your abuser is at home with you, your opportunities to reach out for help are limited, and dangerous. He/she can probably hear your phone calls; he/she is probably monitoring and controlling your use of the internet and social media. Despite this danger and their fear, 71% more people than usual are calling for help - what support is being put in place for them? What safe housing is being provided? What funding is being released? What specialist DA services is our Island providing? What law is going to protect people?
Living with an abuser under Covid-19 is similar to being kidnapped or held hostage. It is not a "dispute". How much worse must those people asking for help be feeling when their horrendous experiences are being minimised, dismissed, categorised as "disputes" and "relationship difficulties", and when a 71% increase is apparently not seen as cause for concern?
Please sign and share this Petition and add your voices to those of us saying this serious situation requires a serious response and that all frontline services on the Isle of Man require urgent, in-depth training so that ignorance and victim-blaming cease, and victims get the support, the services, and the Law, that they so urgently need.