Being in a gukʷdᶻi conjures up profound emotions for me.

It’s the vastness of space, all the while feeling intimate. It’s the warmth and smell of the bonfire and the sound of sparks snapping into the air. It’s the incredible craftsmanship of cedar, the tree of life. It’s the expanse and vibrance of the totem poles which emit calm and peace and create a sort of emotional protection that I can’t even begin to explain. Then, on a stormy day, the sounds sing into the gukʷdᶻi with a shielding power, while on a sunny day, the sun shines brightly into the gukʷdᶻi sharing it’s wholehearted love and strength.

Our First Nations used to call a gukʷdᶻi home before they were taken down.

Now we all live in separate independent boxes.

I wonder what our ancestors would say. 
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Last week, in the gukʷdᶻi, I participated in a three-day workshop titled Hase’ – Breath of Life. It’s a Land-Based culturally rooted approach to healing trauma & addictions facilitated by N’alaga Avis O’Brien, my UVIC practicum supervisor. While I wasn’t going to participate in all three days of the workshop, I am so incredibly thankful I did.

There is something truly amazing about being in community with people who are like minded. People who are called in to do the work. People who are willing to speak their truth, all in the name of healing.

For me, healing means peeling back those layers to get to the pure love I have deep in my heart. That pure love was meant to be shared, and healing for me is getting there, regardless of the pain I must endure.

I had never admitted my truth before, but in one moment, in the gukʷdᶻi, with a community of loving supporters, in a home made for the spirits of our ancestors, I finally said that I was surprised to be alive.

My past confuses me. Is it like that for you sometimes?

Where you think “how the hell did I get here?”  

Or perhaps, “how did I get so lucky?” 
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After I provided context in the safety of community, I had a tremendous weight lift off me. 

Not only did I feel lighter, but I didn’t feel any shame, or for who I was.

I could finally let go of that shame.

I truly am lucky to be alive.
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I think this depth of connection in group is rare. But in the big house, a place designed for family, love, connection, and community, I think it’s just natural. It calls to our hearts.

This is our ancestral healing.

And language is an essential part of this.

N’alaga and Yola, the two facilitators, used Kwakʷala words and references the entire three days. The only way I can explain our language, is that it’s grounding. Essentially, it is exactly what we need, as Indigenous peoples, to heal.
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On the last day of our workshop, we went to ʔuxʷstalis (oo-h-stah-lease), what is now known as the Tyee Spit in Campbell River, for cold water therapy.

After our cold water dip the conversation led to N’alaga offering to drum a Haida seal hunting song. While we knew there was a seal in the distance, when the drumming began, the seal popped out of the water, peering at us just a stones throw away.  

I was amazed. I laughed. The song had worked!

But then my tears fell. Then the sobbing.
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It has taken me a full week to figure out what happened in this moment. It was a̱wi'nakola (uh-we-na-kyo-la). It means that we are not separate from anything, we are all connected, like a web. To be one, with heaven, air, land and sea.

If we were actual seal hunters, this seal’s life would have come to an end. But it swam up to us.

My feeling is that it knew it’s role in this web. On this stunning territory known to our ancestors as ʔuxʷstalis (oo-h-stah-lease). It came to our call as it understood our dedication to reciprocity through gratitude and maya’xala (ma-ya-hyuh-la), respect.

This experience allowed me to see that my intention in this world, with these people, on this land, was exactly how it should be. I felt validated in my belief system that a̱wi'nakola is the way – to be one with everything.

We didn’t need Buddha to tell us this, we just needed our ancestors.

Unfortunately, that connection was destroyed by the implementation of the Indian Act through reserves, banning of potlaches, residential schools, Indian day schools, Indian hospitals, systemic & institutional racism, and the list goes on, and on, and on... 
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There is more to this experience than what I have noted here, but please take my word, that this kind of healing is transformational. In the gukʷdᶻi, with community, on land, and facilitation by real people with lived experience like N’alaga Avis O’Brien and the amazing team that accompanied her.

To learn more about N’alaga Avis O’Brien go here. 
To learn more about Liǧʷiłdaxʷ Health Society go here. 
To learn more about Tsow Tun Le Lum Society go here.

Gilaska'la to all of you for your support and kind words! Please be sure to SHARE this petition, and if something resonated with you in this update and could spark curiosity in another, please SHARE!

ALL MY RELATIONS

Jamie 
E: jamiebryant1@gmail.com
IG: @maxinrelaxin_cv

In the media: 

November 10, 2024, My Campbell River Now: My interview with Grant Warkentin

November 12, 2024, True North : The Faulkner Show | Indigenous activists want to RENAME cities and towns across Canada – at 16:25 Campbell River is mentioned