Last Wednesday, after my umpteenth job interview this month, I went to Lunds and Byerly’s to buy cherry tomatoes. I was moping through the produce section, wallowing in my unemployment, when I saw the bakery. I instantly remembered there was something that could uplift me from my languish: a classic chocolate frosted donut. Now, I had been bedridden the preceding week, recovering from wisdom teeth extraction, so I was particularly excited to be eating solid food again. I turned the corner, excited for the comfort and familiarity of my lifelong go-to treat, but once I saw the donut case, my heart sank. 

If you've entered a Lunds and Byerlys this past year, you've probably seen these abominations: the new Decked-out Donuts. The large square donuts come in an array of overly sugary, convoluted flavors like cotton candy and fruity cereal. Seemingly introduced in an effort to keep up with trendier sweet treats like the Crumbl Cookie, these donuts have been met with a resounding negative reaction. People online sound off about how they no longer buy these donuts for themselves, their children, or their offices. Some cite the inferior quality, but I admittedly have not even tried these donuts because of their unappetizing appearances and negative reviews. I slunk off towards the self-checkout, eager to go home and forget about my disappointment.

A few days later, I was visited by a friend, and when I told her about my experience, she said the exact same thing happened to her. Roused from my complacency, I went online and read others' stories, becoming more and more inspired. Soon enough, we were drafting this petition together, inspired by the fact that no one likes these huge square donuts. They are unsightly and symbolic of the death of culture. The Donut is a reliable American classic that does not need to be changed or improved upon. Everyone likes donuts. And everyone pictures the same thing: round, not too large, not too small. Now is the time to act and show Lunds and Byerlys that we demand regular donuts back.