May 29, 2016
I have some good news for your bank holiday – yesterday Nazanin found a way to call me. I won’t explain how, since it was not formally authorised, but she found a way within the rules she was given.
Their world has not ended – Nazanin was careful not to talk about her case or the subject of her interrogations, and to show that it was ok for her to call. There was much I could not tell her. Though I did let her know that many people are sending Gabriella birthday cards.
And it was so good to hear her voice - it felt like another small step forwards. But I had not quite expected her to be so sad. Or for me to be, afterwards, as I better understood what she is going through.
The good news is that her physical strength is returning. It turns out she had not been able to stand up when she had the family visit, but had had to see Gabriella sitting on a chair. She had not had the strength in her arms to be able to lift her. This is still better than her parents had been expecting.
When she first came out of solitary she used to have blackouts whenever she tried to walk. Now she is able to walk for 45 minutes every morning, after the 6.30am inspection, before the sun gets too high. She does not yet have the energy to join group sporting activities. But she does her yoga in the evening to keep up stretching - which looks a bit odd to the other prisoners. Her hair is no longer falling out, or no longer at the same rate.
She is also better able to keep clean. Nazanin was always very particular on cleanliness – these days our flat reflects her absence. The prison often has no hot water for 12 hours a day, but she is better able to shower, has access to shampoo. She still complains of how her skin looks, and how smelly she feels. No perfumes are allowed. But after 45 days, she has again been able to shave. No razors were allowed in solitary given the outcome.
The food in the general cells however has got worse. Nazanin lost about 5 kg while in solitary, down to about 47kg. This she has not yet recovered. There is one hot meal a day, served with very dry rice – as any of you with Iranian friends will know, Iranians always notice the rice. She has not had any salad for over two months. The bread has a funny smell and taste, due to the sedatives added to suppress the women’s desires. The prison suddenly received some watermelon last week. In the end, her cell decided it wasn’t drugged, and she had her first piece of fresh fruit in almost 60 days.
And there is a prison shop where she can buy tea and biscuits, now her family have transferred money, and where she can occasionally buy alternative meals. There is also some kindness - there is a woman who works in the kitchen, who looks out for her, and occasionally shares out any spares from the guards’ menu.
The highlight of her day, she said, is going to the mosque. Nazanin is not religious in an assertive ideological sense, but she is a quietly spiritual person. There is a solace in reading and praying, and in being with people in a place where they are calm and reflective, part of the journey back to herself.
Nazanin is now in the general cells of the women’s wing of Kerman central prison, along with 400 other women inmates, only some of whom have any expectation of leaving. There is a chance for friendships, for people to have a cup of tea with, and to hear their stories. Prisons in Iran are full of interesting people. She says it has been a real education what some have endured. And some of the prison guards are kind. Since she was moved, she has even been visited by the prison inspector.
But most of her life remains one of waiting. At this point she would do anything if it meant she could get out to see Gabriella even one hour earlier. Nazanin was promised when moved, it would be over within a couple of days. Not the first time that particular promise has been made, or proved hollow.
She has not seen her interrogators since she was moved out of solitary. Perhaps that is a good sign. No one else in the prison is allowed to know what is happening in her case, not even the prison manager. So there is no one to ask.
It remains a cruel business.
And I remain grateful for your help in seeing us through it.
Support now
Sign this petition
Copy link
WhatsApp
Facebook
Nextdoor
Email
X

