Dear Mr. O'Reilly,

It has come to our attention that you are considering fleeing to Ireland in the event that Bernie Sanders is voted in as President of the United States of America. While we'd love to have you, we're not entirely sure if you've actually thought this one through. Here's why:

First up, you wouldn't be allowed to bring all your guns. In fact, you wouldn't be allowed to bring any of them. You may find this hard to believe, given our history  and all that, but even our police are unarmed! We know you're only mad into the yokes and that you believe it's your God-given right to protect yourself so you should probably stay put in America where everyone has lots and lots of guns. Much safer.

Second, we have things like social welfare and state healthcare over here and even the man in the street knows that you think these are terrible ideas altogether.  We're just not into the same things, you and us. You'd be all, "Free market this & privatise that!" but we'd be all, "Ah here Bill, hold on a second there, the free market just bollixed us!" and you should've seen the fuss when they tried to privatise the water. We've actually got a pretty conservative shower in government at the minute, at least by our standards, but I'd say there's a fair chance you'd think they're worse than big Joe Stalin and the boys!

Lastly, while we'd love you to come and visit anytime you want, we think you'd find it hard enough to get some work over here. You see, we seen your show on the telly and, well, we don't really go in for that sort of thing over here. It's not exactly "The Late Late" if you know what we mean. Our news tends to be a little less opinionated and a bit more - how do we say this - well... polite? Pop in if you're passing by all means and we'll stick on the kettle but if you're looking for a job sure you'd only be chancing your arm. Don't get us wrong, we love a good chancer - but there are limits, you know?

So, while we're very flattered by the compliment, we hope you haven't gone to any trouble  because it's just not going to work out. At least spend your holiers here next summer and see what you make of the place before doing something we'll all regret. And you never know, perhaps this Sanders fella won't even win, but if he does you can at least thank your lucky stars that your man off "The Apprentice" didn't. That'd be a total feckin' disaster!

All the best now & thanks a million,

The Irish People