Firstly, I want to say a huge thank you to this incredibly brave survivor for trusting me with their story. Every person who has shared their experience has done so in the hope that it may help protect someone else in the future. Your courage matters, and I am honoured to share your words.

The following is from the brave amazing survivor Kerry McDonnell 💜

“About four years ago, I was living in a shadow of who I once was. My childhood had chipped away at me quietly, leaving wounds I never spoke of, and by the time I met her—my ex—I was already drowning. I clung to alcohol, trying to numb the emptiness inside, and when I met her, it felt like a lifeline… until it became a trap.

I saw the red flags almost instantly—small manipulations, the drinking, the way she tried to isolate me—but I didn’t care about myself enough to walk away. I stayed, even as she chipped away at me every day. The first time she hit me, I woke up with a black eye. I gave her excuses. It was the alcohol. She was struggling. It wasn’t really her fault. My self-worth had vanished, and every blow, every scar, just made me feel more worthless.

Then one night, it all shattered. I woke up on the floor, gasping, unable to breathe. She had strangled me and left me believing I was going to die. The police came, and I remember them standing over me asking questions I couldn’t answer. I gave statements, but every time they asked me to continue with the case, I dropped the charges. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her—or maybe I just didn’t believe I deserved better. And so it went on. Constant abuse. Constant fear. Every part of who I was slowly disappeared.

Then one night it escalated again. I was staying in a small flat, a temporary shelter, and while I slept she set off a flea bomb inside the room and locked me in. As the air became impossible to breathe, I desperately tried to escape. Somehow, I managed to call for help, but once again I backed down afterwards. I just didn’t have the strength left to see justice through. Looking back now, I realise how trapped I really was.

The final time was the moment I finally broke free. I had left Birmingham and returned to London. For two weeks I thought I was finally safe. Then her birthday came, and a small act of kindness pulled me back. I invited her over, hoping to keep the peace. But I could see it in her eyes. I begged her, “I don’t want to argue. I just can’t do this.”

It was too late.

She attacked me with a knife. I remember trying to stop the bleeding, trying to get away, but my body started giving up. I remember her telling me to “just let go” because I was dying.

Thankfully, someone nearby heard me screaming for help. I drifted in and out of consciousness before waking up in hospital. I was later told my heart had stopped in the ambulance before I was resuscitated. Police had to taser her so they could force entry. She was charged with attempted murder and later sentenced to 24 years in prison.

Two and a half years later, I’m still rebuilding my life.

It’s not easy. Every day is a battle, but I’m learning to love myself again. I’m learning that I’m more than what happened to me. With every step I take, I’m finding the strength I thought I’d lost forever.”

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Domestic abuse does not discriminate.

It affects women. It affects men. It affects people in same-sex relationships and heterosexual relationships. Abuse is never about gender—it is about power, fear and control.

Research shows that LGBTQ+ people experience domestic abuse too, yet many face additional barriers when seeking help because they fear they won’t be believed or that services won’t understand their experiences. Every survivor deserves to be heard and protected.

This story also reminds us how difficult it can be for victims to support a prosecution. Trauma, fear, manipulation and emotional dependence often lead survivors to withdraw statements or return to abusive partners. These are common responses to abuse—not signs that the abuse wasn’t real.

To Kerry, thank you. 🙏💜

Your willingness to tell your story, despite everything you have endured, will help people understand that domestic abuse can happen to anyone. I hope that by sharing stories like yours, we can help create a future where victims receive the protection they deserve, and where fewer people have to fight so hard simply to survive. 💜

💜please keep sharing and signing the response I’ve had so far is amazing and I can’t thank everyone enough the support has been overwhelming ☺️💜