I recently experienced a culinary travesty that shook me to my core—kippers battering everything in sight! Picture this: a battered pickled onion and egg. Yes, you read that right. It was a shocking discovery, one that no taste bud should be subjected to. I believe that we must put an end to this madness now.

The once cherished art of battering has become a culinary free-for-all, where nothing is safe from a dip in the deep fryer. Kippers, renowned and respected for their rich flavor and humble origins, have taken it upon themselves to coat everything edible in a cloak of crispy batter, losing the delicate balances that make ingredients truly shine. This is not just an assault on our plates but a disrespect to the culinary heritage we hold dear.

Battering should be an art, not a weapon against innocent ingredients. There are boundaries that must not be crossed, and debasing an innocent pickled onion or a humble egg is undoubtedly a line too far. It's time to respect our food heritage and allow ingredients to celebrate their own textures and flavors rather than drowning them in ubiquitous batter.

Join me in calling for a sensible culinary practice where battering is reserved for the heroes of the fryer - the cod, the sausage, the potato - and not the unsung heroes like pickled onions and eggs. Together, we can preserve the integrity of foods that deserve respect and savor the textures and tastes that truly speak to our hearts and souls.

Let’s make a stand for our taste buds and culinary heritage! Sign this petition to put an end to kippers battering everything. Your signature could save the next unsuspecting pickled onion or egg from a crispy fate. Take action now and help restore balance to our plates!