As a late-diagnosed autistic woman, I have experienced the vast array of challenges that many autistic women face daily, misunderstanding, stigma, and most recently, fetishisation. It was on the dating app Hinge where a man told me autism was "curable", told me I was “close minded” for not wanting to cure my autism, and asked if I was "trying to overcome it”, because if not he can send me information about it from some “people who are treating their autism and reversing it”. This kind of rhetoric is not only hurtful but perpetuates damaging stereotypes about autistic individuals.

Over the past six months, I've reported more than 50 ableist and insensitive prompts including ‘I’d fall for you if you… are slightly autistic’, ‘I go crazy for… autistic women’, ‘The way to win me over is… Be slightly autistic’. These prompts target disabled and autistic women on Hinge. But despite my repeated reports, the issue persists. Every day, as I navigate the app, I encounter the same ableist rhetoric and attitudes, making it clear that Hinge is not doing enough to protect its users from harassment and discrimination.

Only recently has this become more well-known, and sex educators and psychologist have come out and spoken on this matter, just for Hinge to continue to allow this type of content.

Autistic sex educator Milly Evans recently spoke on this on an instagram post by DAZED, and said ‘They either don’t know what autism is, or want to attract someone they perceive as vulnerable’. (@dazed on instagram) 

Hinge's Community Guidelines claim to prohibit hate, abuse, and discrimination based on race, gender, sexuality, religion, or identity, yet disability is not mentioned anywhere.

This silence sends a clear message: that ableism is not taken as seriously as other forms of discrimination. By failing to include disability, Hinge leaves autistic and disabled users unprotected from the mockery, fetishisation, and harassment we experience daily. If Hinge truly stands for inclusion and respect, disability must be explicitly recognised and protected in its policies.

Women with disability are almost twice as likely to experience violence from a partner compared to women without disability.

Women with disability are nearly twice as likely to experience physical violence.

Women with disability are around twice as likely to experience sexual violence.

Dating should be a safe and enjoyable experience for everyone, regardless of their abilities. However for many disabled and neurodiverse women like me, it becomes a minefield of offensive comments and unwanted attention that turns our disabilities into mere fetishes for others' amusement.

This is not just about me, it’s about creating a respectful and inclusive environment on Hinge where all users, including those who are autistic or have disabilities, can feel secure and respected. It's time that Hinge takes decisive action to ban prompts and language that are derogatory and demeaning to disabled and autistic individuals.

I'm calling for Hinge to implement stricter monitoring and reporting mechanisms to effectively filter out and ban ableist and fetishising prompts aimed at disabled and autistic women. Users who engage in such behaviour should face serious consequences, with repeat offenders removed from the platform entirely.

Moreover, providing educational resources about disability awareness and inclusivity to all users would be a powerful step towards fostering a better understanding and acceptance across the platform.

Hinge has the opportunity to set a precedent in the online dating world by standing strongly against ableism and fetishisation. They can show their commitment to inclusivity by ensuring a safe space for everyone.

Sign this petition to urge Hinge to take immediate and effective action to protect autistic and disabled women from ableist and fetishising prompts. Together, we can make the dating world a more compassionate and respectful place for everyone.