A Letter to the Warren County Prosecutors Office

The mother facing trial is being portrayed as an aggressor, a violent and abusive individual that threatened harm to her adult son. I have seen her history thrown in her face and used against her despite her overcoming every adversity you could imagine. Yes, she has a past , but you only know the past that has been documented within the justice system. You don’t know the past she has endured as a child, you don’t know the past that she is trying to prevent from repeating itself with her children, you don’t know the past almost 10 years since she has been charge free and has fought and sacrificed for her children to have a better life then her. I have watched this mother make a way out of no way. She is strong, determined, resilient, loving, loyal, honest, inspirational, motivational and I can keep going with the qualities she possesses which outweigh any flaws she may have. She has a love for everyone and a pureness in her heart that is not seen or recognized in today’s time. She gives to those in her community time and time again without thought, she counsels and advocates for those that suffer from addiction. I have watched her assist others despite what they have done to her in the past. She has gone to speak at youth programs to speak life and encouragement into juveniles that have lost their way or have been given up on. She has obtained her Associates degree in social work and is pursuing her Masters in order to serve her clients and her community better. 

On the night in question she was called to her mothers house because her son had potentially assaulted his girlfriend while there. When she arrived her son refused to unlock the bathroom door where he was located with the girlfriend his. In an attempt to get him to open the door so she can speak with the young lady as well as get a visual look at the girlfriend to make sure she was ok she told her son the girlfriend needed to leave and go to her own home. At this time her son proceeded to call her bitches & other obscenities', told her she needed to mind her business, invited her to suck his privates, spit on her when he did open the door and threatened to attack her if she didn’t leave her mothers home. While he and the girlfriend were locked in the bathroom there was very loud banging…unsure if he was hurting the girl the police were called…She is being charged for allegedly telling her son that if he comes out of the bathroom and attempts to assault her she is going to hit him with her keys to get him away. This is being seen as terroristic threats on her behalf. Most parents would have handled the situation the same. This is not an isolated incident either…you can’t remove a grown person that is refusing to leave. You can’t change the locks when the grandmother will continue to allow the person to come inside. The grandmother calls and complains of the activities and asks her daughter to help her reinforce but when the daughter (mother of the adult child) does so the grandmother doesn’t want her grandson to be mad at her and denies calling her daughter…his mother…It is a very very complicated situation BUT to indict a mother with charges that could put her behind bars for trying to help her mother who suffers from severe mental health diagnoses…to assist the young lady that was possibly being assaulted...for trying to steer her child in the right direction and let him know he will NOT put his hands on her and think she will stand by and allow it is extreme! This is her son. Again her son that she begged and pleaded assistance with and did not receive that. How do you continue to ask for help when constantly turned away?

While her son was still a juvenile and in the justice system himself I had watched her beg and plead with judges and probation officers to mandate him to programming, treatment, counseling, any services that could assist with possibly addressing his behaviors and possible mental health concerns but he always was given a slap on the wrist. She couldn’t force any services or programs on him herself because in the state of New Jersey at the age of 14 a child has the say if they want to attend any counseling or treatment services and of course he would deny any services she herself would attempt to enroll him in. This is a mother who is not only frustrated but feels defeated, disappointed, let down, and disregarded not only by the actions of her son but by the lack of support she has received from those in a position that could mandate him to the services that could have prevented his current behaviors and assist him in obtaining the help he needs. This is a mother with a broken heart, wounded by her child, afraid for his life due to the choices and lifestyle he chooses to make and live. She is forced to watch him manipulate her mother that struggles with her mental health, knowing his grandmother will defend him regardless if he is wrong. She is forced to watch him put her mother and her mother’s home at risk everyday by the people he allows to come in and out of his grandmother’s house. 

As a son/daughter, would you allow your child to put the livelihood of your mother on the line? As a father/mother, would you be ok and allow your son to physically or verbally abuse a female? And as a son/daughter would you allow it in your parents’ home? Would you stand by and not intervene the best you knew how considering all other avenues have failed you in the past? Would you stand quietly and allow your son to disrespect you or his mother as he invites you or her to his privates telling you to suck his d*@k, the way this young man has disrespected his mother over and over again or allow him to threaten physical harm to her/you? 

Warren County is willing to charge and take to trial a mother that has tried tirelessly to save her son on her own after pleading for help from authorities that were in a position to require treatments that could have addressed his behavioral and anger issues? A daughter trying keep her mother safe and prevent her mother from further mental health hospitalizations, loss of her housing, and potential danger?

Warren County is willing to put a single mother in a position that could cause her to lose all that she has worked for because she refused to allow her son to harm another female and refused to allow him to disrespect her and speak to her in the manner he was? Warren County is willing to charge a mother with an indictable offense, for allegedly threatening to defend herself after he spit at her and threatened to assault her first. There is a much bigger picture here that needs to be seen and heard in order to understand the events that occurred on this specific night.

Warren County Prosecutors Office has the power and ability to hear the bigger picture, but does it have to go to trial in order for them to understand? Would Warren County still pursue these charges if they knew the entire history and not a moment in time?