Dear Zlatan,

As a fan and someone who is wondering how on earth to reach to you, here's a petition from someone who would like this transfer saga to be over and done with.

Is it Manchester United? AC Milan? Maimo? The world is holding its breath for the announcement but for the sake of all fans everywhere just announce the damn thing.

I'm ok if you aren't going to United really. Ok, I am, because the United-City derby will be delicious with banter. Please reply xoxo