The Nintendo 64. A console beloved for its groundbreaking 3D titles: Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time, Super Smash Bros, Goldeneye 007 - and many more.

But one title is the king of them all: Superman 64

Regarded as one of the worst video games ever developed, Superman 64 contains everything that a terrible interactive entertainment experience could provide: Obtuse level design, no hit detection, bizarrely implemented flying levels, an over abundance of fog, and more glitches and bugs than the first week of Cyberpunk 2077’s release.

It is, in fact - a masterpiece. And we DEMAND it be remastered for modern consoles.

Why? Well, for the same reasons that films like The Room and Plan 9 From Outer Space bring us joy. Bad media has social value for its vast entertainment possibilities. TV shows like Mystery Science Theater 3000 and ongoing screenings of The Room are evidence of this. After all - Would you rather want to watch a mediocre film, or a downright awful one? Which is more fun?

And so it is with Superman 64. It may even in fact be a cautionary tale, a message to all to take time with your beloved properties or works of art. Wait until it’s ready, or else…well, it could be Superman 64.

If nothing else, it will show the youth of today just what the youth of yesterday had to endure. Back in our day, this was something you could unironically pay $60 for. Or unwrap on Christmas morning!

So I urge you - sign this petition to let DC Comics, Warner Bros, Nintendo, and all others involved in the licensing and development of the game that there is an eager audience waiting. Show them that we have a massive group of nerds desperate to show the world we are ready and willing to endure the mad mind of Lex Luther and all his foggy flying tomfoolery. 

Don’t fix it. Don’t unbreak it. Give us higher resolutions and solid frame rates like with the Turok remasters. Put Nightdive studio on the job. You can even get crazy and give us a fixed version and an OG version with all its glitches. They did it for Bond, but they neglected The Man of Steel. It’s time to make it right.

Join us - fly through the rings of time and celebrate the return of the king.