I think we can all agree that Dean Keeton is characterized by Nascar drivers, Evel Knievel-esque bicyclists, and an agonizing incline.

Imagine this: you drag yourself out of bed, eyelids teeming with morning crust, to attend your 8 AM on the other side of Dean Keeton. One step down from the 3-foot-high curb and BAM - you're hit by a careless student on his razor scooter. What do you do? Nothing. Your helpless body has rolled itself all the way down W. Dean Keeton into E. Dean Keeton and is locked in the fetal position until further assistance arrives. The menacing razor scooter man rides off into the burnt orange sunrise without you taking any action.

With that being said, I believe that there is only one solution. Instead of spending tens of thousands of our precious money dollars every year just to have our bodies flung down a giant hill like rag dolls, Dean Keeton should be converted into a slip n' slide. Free of cars, free of bicyclists, and free of pain.