Petition for narcissistic abuse awareness in the UK

With “Narcissist” being the new buzz word the effects of narcissistic abuse are being pushed aside at a time when it is becoming more and more evident we’re facing an epidemic of victims/survivors of this insidious abuse. Narcissistic abuse support groups are growing rapidly, whilst social media is proving a huge platform via individuals and groups with 1000's and 1000’s of members. The common theme is there is not enough validating support for survivors, with counsellors, therapists, mental health professionals and the judicial system having little or no knowledge of this self eroding abuse. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders lists Narcissistic Personality Disorder with no reference to the effects of the abuse on the recipients of this disorder. With narcissist’s very rarely presenting to psychiatrists for an official diagnosis, it is only when the recipient describes their experience that a well versed professional is able to join the dots. With other offences against humanity, we are able to identify and acknowledge the victim/survivor i.e. murder, drunk driving, theft, domestic violence, arson and so on… So what does narcissistic abuse look and feel like?

The narcissistic parent will have a golden child who they believe is a positive reflection of themselves (a false self) and a scapegoat child who becomes the target of the narcissist's own self loathing which the narcissist cannot identify with. The golden child can rarely do wrong while the scapegoat child can rarely do right. The roles can be interchangeable and an only child can be either role at any time. Parental narcissistic abuse towards the scapegoat is where the child is continuously told things like, “it’s all your fault “ and you believed it. “You’ll never get anywhere in life” and you believed it’. “You’re ugly’ and you believed it”. You are lied to and you believed the lies, lied about to people, and they believed the lies. That certain "look" or tone of voice would be the trigger that controls you, the child that had no choice but to tolerate the above, lives on in the adult version of you. The internalised narrative fed to you by the very people who you trusted to love and care for you leads you to grow up devoid of a healthy sense of self, unable to trust your own thoughts, crippled with self doubt and saddled with an abundance of guilt and shame that is worn like an invisible overcoat of doom. The narcissistic parent will have a golden child which they believe is a positive reflection of themselves (false self) and a scapegoat who is the projected target of their own self loathing. You end up feeling like you are not good enough, a people pleaser desperate to be accepted, wanted and liked. You'll probably have a huge lack of self confidence and a belief that your needs are insignificant and everyone else’s needs come before yours. The child in you that was not allowed a voice or autonomy pops up in times of stress and is often unable to articulate it’s needs coherently, so others believe you are unstable which perpetuates the feelings of unworthiness while accepting praise is an uncomfortable struggle. The truth is you are fragile and often end up in relationships with narcissistically disordered partners because the relationship is familiar behaviour to what you have been accustomed to. 

Anyone is at risk of being in a relationship with a narcissist as they come disguised as everything you've ever wanted in a person. They can be extremely charming, and will lovebomb you to within an inch of your life but they are highly manipulative individuals and this only makes it harder to detect red flags or to explain your feelings & concerns to others. In the blink of an eye you went from being loved to devalued and cruelly discarded and left confused, wondering what on earth went wrong?! The abuse will start very slowly, you won't even know it's happening until you find your once confident self questioning yourself, is it me? Could I have done something differently, if only I had done it this way, I can't seem to do anything right?! You'll end up walking on eggshells & will get tricked into believing everything the narcissist tells you while doubting your own sanity and the words of people who have loved and cared for you for years! Your words will get twisted and everything will be your fault. The main components of this disorder are control, projection, the need to be right, delusions of grandeur, self entitlement and a need for constant attention (narcissistic supply) to feed their ego. 

Although the majority of victims/survivors never have a true diagnosis it doesn’t take a qualified dentist to tell you that your raging toothache may be a result of a decayed tooth nor a qualified mechanic to tell you there is something wrong with your non starting car. This petition is so that victims/survivors of narcissistic abuse are recognised and supported. That victim/survivors are represented in child custodial cases by professionals that are fully trained and aware of narcissistic personality disorder. That mental health professionals, gp’s, counsellors and therapists are fully trained in narcissistic personality disorder. That narcissistic victim syndrome is recognised and a major cause of CPTSD. That funding is provided for awareness, support groups and personal development groups to enable the survivor to seek validation, support and freedom from narcissistic abuse.