Ban superhero movies and criminalize viewing such media

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There is a great plague upon this country in the form of superhero media. Dubbed "capeshit" by critics, these films and television shows have been relentlessly diluting American media and are responsible for dumbing the population down to a point where adults act like babies.

What is the proof of this capeshit being destructive for us? First off, it has spawned a disgustic sect of pop culture in which tasteless references are thrown both in person and online, which also bolsters the effectiveness of other distasteful industries like action figures and comics. 

Second, it degenerates adults into acting like oversized toddlers. Now there is pointless drama about which capeshit actress said this, or which superheroes can defeat North Korea. Adults spend their hard-earned money on what are essentially CGI lightshows for children. And if one dislikes one of those "precious" capeshits? The tantrum worthy of 10,000 soiled diapers emanates from the mouths of these fans, their rank breath fouling the once-clean air of discourse.

Lastly, capeshit has lowered the bar for what qualifies as a good film. Some of the most well-regarded and highest rated movies aren't kinos produced by Malick, nor joints crafted by Spike, nor films of the late great Kubrick; no, what is qualified as "good" are mass-produced capeshit movies with lame quips, sickening blurry fight scenes, and pop culture references that already aged poorly by post production. It has gotten to the point where capeshit has infiltrated the Academy Awards, and review sites like Rotten Tomatoes modified their systems to accommodate capeshit. 

Enough is enough. Members of Congress and Senators, the real national emergency isn't at the border, nor in our hospitals. The real national emergency is the continued existence of these utterly tasteless films and shows that continue to de-legitimize this country. You can only imagine how much more productive this country would be if we no longer had to worry about catching up to the latest character arc in superhero movies. You heard me correctly - capeshit is holding this country back.

Thank you for reading this, and I hope you make the right choice in banning capeshit and saving the American film industry; and thus the world with it.  


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