I want to prevent monstrous evil from taking over the lands of the world. This can only happen if Hillary Clinton does us all a favor and cuts her own intestines out with a short Japanese sword. The only way she can absolve herself of shame and restore honor to her name is if she tears out her innards with a katana and spills the evil of her soul onto the floor of the temple where she worships. And by temple, I mean a bank lobby.