Apart from my mother I do not know where my family are. My grandparents’ building was razed to the ground and our family’s apartment is probably occupied by Chechen Kadyrovtsy [militia], who are helping the Russians. I feel sick thinking about them touching my childhood photos or my hockey kit.

Who is responsible for this? Who will apologise? Who will return my stolen life to me? Just like my home city, I have the sense that I no longer exist. I have severe skin problems due to the lack of hygiene, and the dust in the basement means I am always short of breath. I no longer have a normal relationship with food.

I could become a refugee but all I want is to go to the door of my own home, which I will never open again. Although we are safe for now I will never recover from this trauma; it will haunt me for my whole life.