Java Man is CLEARLY the #TRU666SATAN due to many pieces of evidence. First, research the famed Java Man. You can clearly tell, just from this, Java Man is HIDING something. If this doesn't convince you enough, take a look at this picture! That's exactly what I thought. So now that we know FOR SURE Java Man is hiding something, we MUST figure out what it is Java Man has to hide. Could it be this demonic being here? It is very possible this being could fit inside Java Mans left nut. Or could it be this figure of our main man Jesus being defaced? Java Man certainly has the ability to create and hide this image in the upper left corner of his toenail mold which is growing from his second to biggest toe on his right foot. Or could it be both!?! Yes, that is it. Based on the formula e^{i\pi} + 1 = 0, it can easily be determined that Java Man is hiding both obscenities stated above. If Java Man is not recognized as the #TRU666SATAN IMMEDIETLY, we (being the southernmost tip of Alaska) will face immediate danger. Java Man is powerful and unless he is recognized/worshipped accordingly, Java Man will take action. If you want to help prove the earth is flat and save countless dodo bird lives, you WILL sign this form. Thank you and may Java Man bless your soul AMEN.