The VA still does not recognize reverse dependency.

Some veterans do not die leaving dependents.

Some die while being dependent on the family members who kept them housed, fed, supervised, transported, advocated for, and alive at home.

That is what happened in our family.

I was a full-time stay-at-home mom raising a baby while also caring for my medically declining father. I pushed for private duty hours, home health, and hospice because I needed help — not because I didn’t love him enough to do it myself.

One person cannot safely care for a baby and a declining parent alone without support.

And still, the system failed us.

The VA’s caregiver rules and ADL/case-mix tools did not reflect real life.

If I chose the caregiver stipend path, I could not also get the outside help we actually needed.

If I chose home health, hospice, or private duty support, the approved hours were still too limited — and the unpaid caregiving work still fell on me.

So families like mine get trapped in a cruel gap:

unpaid,  
under-supported,  
or both.

Meanwhile, many families are paying out of pocket for babysitters, transportation, supplies, lost work time, and household costs just to hold everything together.

This is a major blind spot in VA policy.

The VA still does not recognize reverse dependency:
when the veteran becomes dependent on the family.

Families are carrying veterans unpaid — and policy still ignores it.

#VeteransDeserveBetter#MyDadDeservedBetter#CareGiverSupport#PassTheConnAct