Dear handsome Anderson Cooper,

It is my understanding that all political things get your handsome face involved at one point or another.  Your face is handsome, you carry yourself with dignity, you are serious yet interesting sounding, great qualities for a political pundit.  BUT While very handsome and pleasant to look at, your face is no longer the face we need in this campaign season.  This campaign has been bloated, innappropriate, strange, and absolutely crazy.  You are not the face of those qualities. We need Mr Zach Galifikianis. With the inclusion of Mr Donald "The Racist Cheeto" Trump in the presidential race, no debate will be serious or even feel like reality. It is already understood that nothing will come of debating between The Speaking Penis and Secretary Gramgram that any reasonable person doesn't already know.  The pantsuit will speak reasonably, with great confidence, and credibility and she'll probably not be that exciting. And then that orange bloated corpse of lies will most likely respond and bluster and say a few racist things he doesn't understand. 

THis petition is to create the type of medium for a debate stage that can wholly capture the true spirit and absurdity of this years presidential election; that medium is Between Two Ferns with "no longer chubby" Zach Galifianakis . This petition is absurd. Like this election.  At least on Between Two Ferns I won't get angry and scream things at the screen.