My son Josh was showing signs of Adhd and Asd from a very young age. Cahms couldn't see him until he was 6. The first school he was at wouldn't support what I saw. The head teachers exact words were " He doesn't have Adhd as he gets down from a tree when told". I went to his Gp who wrote a referral to Cahms but it came back as schools were the only ones who can write the referral. 4 years later Josh was starting his new school. I went to the Senco who said she would help. It was worse. Josh spent most of his 4 years in isolation for the smallest of things, always labelled as a naughty child in front of his peers. A lot of his negative points were for lack of focus and calling out in class, hyperactivity. Classic Adhd traits. As he got older his Adhd symptoms were becoming more obvious and he was being punished more and more. Finally after a strong push from a senior social worker the school reluctantly agreed to make the referral but it took 2 months. But the waiting list was long and Josh had to endure another 2 years of suffering at the school. By the time he left in year 8 his self esteem was low and he doesn't have any  positive memories to reflect on from his last 2 schools. When Josh started high school we believed things would be different. It was 5 months into year 9 when we finally got his diagnosis of Adhd. We actually believed this nightmare to be over now that its official. But this isn't the case. Cahms had to join the video call that we had with the Senco to personally tell them that its true, Josh has Adhd. Paperwork takes time so the Dr thought it would be a lot faster to get the ball rolling in terms of getting right support for Josh. Josh was 14. The Dr said that he should never have had to wait this long for getting diagnosed. Josh has Asd traits too and is on a very long waiting list for a diagnosis. He struggles a lot academically and is clearly Dyslexic. We have asked for a assessment from the school but were told there is no funding. We are paying for it ourselves. Josh is 15 now and is due to sit his GCSES next year. He has repeatedly asked for  TA to help him but was told thats not possible. He has low cognitive functioning and needs someone to sit with him and explain things to him. We are currently in the process of applying for an Ehcp so he can go to a special needs school. The school are not helping with the application as they cannot see his needs. They are not trained to understand what Adhd/Asd is. Josh continues to get behaviour points daily for petty things like  Lack of Focus and fiddling with window blinds. He is always made to feel like he is a naughty child who is always shamed in front of his peers for bring different, as the teachers do not know how to support and deal with a child who is so misunderstood. 

If a mainstream school is accepting children with Sen then the teachers need to be trained so children can thrive and flourish. These children are consequently suffering because they are so misunderstood. Neurodiverse children can only reach their full potential if they have the right support.

There are thousands of children in the UK like Josh who are misunderstood and not getting the right help, starting from the delay in getting the referral to a very long waiting list. The schools need to be more open minded and listen to the parents. They know their child better than anyone. They need to accept that children will act differently in their own home environment than at school as it is their safe Haven to release all that built up anxiety they have had during a difficult school day. Teachers shouldn't be allowed to make their own medical diagnosis when it comes to dismissing the fact that a child may be a Sen child. 

At the moment schools hold all  the power and its down to them whether or not a child should be referred.  

Even when a child is diagnosed they shouldn't be discriminated and punished for their disability simply because they do not understand or just because its a lot easier.

All teaching staff across mainstream school need to be thoroughly educated and trained in all aspects of Neurodiversty. The system within Education is not right and needs to be changed for all the Joshs out there and for their families.