Teach crustaceans to read

Recent signers:
Bessie Goldman and 18 others have signed recently.

The Issue

Crabs and other crustaceans often face discrimination, unfair costs, low wages and more. As a crustacean lover supporter and equality craver, I’ve taken it into my hands to stop this problem at its root. Crustacean are illiterate and that leads to discrimination in the work place and social environments. Join me in helping them find their way out of struggle, because together we can make a crab as “worth it” as any old fish!

avatar of the starter
John ZoidbergPetition StarterI know what it feels like to be discriminated for being an illiterate crab feels like. So after dedicating my life to medical science I decided to retire and help those crabs who are illiterate

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Recent signers:
Bessie Goldman and 18 others have signed recently.

The Issue

Crabs and other crustaceans often face discrimination, unfair costs, low wages and more. As a crustacean lover supporter and equality craver, I’ve taken it into my hands to stop this problem at its root. Crustacean are illiterate and that leads to discrimination in the work place and social environments. Join me in helping them find their way out of struggle, because together we can make a crab as “worth it” as any old fish!

avatar of the starter
John ZoidbergPetition StarterI know what it feels like to be discriminated for being an illiterate crab feels like. So after dedicating my life to medical science I decided to retire and help those crabs who are illiterate

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Petition created on January 5, 2026