SENIORS --- let us reclaim what is rightfully ours.
In these last precious days of our undergraduate life, let us join together to protect our bar, Smokey Joe's, from the distraction of underclassmen. 
For decades, Smoke's has been a gathering place for the senior class. Its photograph-covered walls, wood panels, stained glass and red leather booths are the backdrop of many of our most cherished memories. But gone are the fall nights when the Smoke's scene looked like the member pages of our 2011 "just admitted, now let's stalk each other" Facebook group; for whatever reason, there's been an unmistakable and undesirable influx of juniors, sophomores and freshman to our beloved watering hole. They're young, they're annoying, and they make ordering drinks, walking with pitchers and sitting in booths treacherous activities. Most of all, they just don't belong.
So, for the love of Kweder, Yuengling and bartenders in ties: SIGN THIS PETITION TO ASK MR. RYAN TO REQUIRE 2011 PENNCARDS FOR ADMISSION TO SMOKE'S ONCE FINALS ARE OVER UNTIL OUR COMMENCEMENT, May 10th through May 16th.
Let's take back the bar.