Thank you all for signing the petition! Here is the first draft of our pilot episode of Kenny's!

 EXT. STREET - DAY

We see a young man walking out of his house, listening to music, texting someone, and hopping on his bike. He rides down the street as the voice-over starts. His friends pull up to him one after another. He pulls up to the camera in the gas station parking lot and talks directly to it, narrating his adventure.

OWEN 

I spent a lot of time in my junior year trying to be liked. Whether it's going to parties I didn’t want to.

INT. PARTY - NIGHT

We cut to a scene of Derrick jumping off a kitchen counter and breaking a table as Owen sits in the corner.

OWEN

White people, dude.

EXT. STREET - DAY

OWEN

Drinking and smoking shit, I didn’t want to drink or smoke-

 

 

EXT. DAM - NIGHT

We cut to Owen down by the river at night, being handed a beer, a vape, and a cigarette all at once. We cut to the aftermath of Owen in a bush, vomiting his brains out.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Owen dry heaves.

OWEN

-or committing some other crime, my junior year was spent with people I didn't like.

DERRICK

Yo! Owen, you ready, man?

OWEN

I would stop doing this when Derrick, Jess, and Chris convinced me to rob Kenny's, the gas station near our house.

Owen parks his bike. We follow them into the store.

INT. GAS STATION - DAY

OWEN

The plan was simple: they would come in and distract Kenny; enough faces and enough movement would make it harder to notice me. I would slip back to the booze section with my backpack. I would stuff enough beer for all of us in my bag, and then a cop would walk in.

We see a cop walk in the foreground behind Owen. Owen crawls on his hands and knees behind a shelf.

OWEN

This was not in the original plan.

Owen pretends to look at items on the shelf and gets up. Everyone exchanges looks.

OWEN

(whispers) new plan, get. the fuck. Out, NOW!

Owen tries to calmly walk out while Derrick and Chris are pretending to talk, but his bag is half-zipped, and a beer falls out, spraying the cop on the back of the leg.

COP

Hey, where did you get those beers?- HEY

Owen runs away. Right before he can get to his bike, he trips on the curb, sending him flying and sending the rest of the beers flying. The cop goes to arrest him, but Kenny grabs him.

KENNY

Easy, easy man,  cool it. Let me deal with this one.

CUT 

Music starts, and the title card rolls.

OWEN (V.O.)

The worst part wasn’t getting caught, it wasn’t working at Kenny's, it wasn't even eating shit on the curb, it was telling my mom.

We see Owen, Kenny, and the Cop stand on the porch while Owen's mom stands in the doorway. We hear the end of them explaining the situation.

OWENS MOM

Do you guys mind if I have a quick word with my son?

KENNY

No ma’am.

COP

Not at all.

Owen and Owen's mom walk in and close the door.

OWENS' MOM (BEHIND DOOR)

Who the fuck do you think you are? Bringing the police to my doorstep? Stealing beer, Owen! Not even just that, but stealing beer and falling on your ass and getting caught! It's like you’re trying to piss me off, Owen. Is that it? Are you trying to piss me off? Tell me!

OWEN (BEHIND DOOR)

Uh- No?

OWENS' MOM (BEHIND DOOR)

THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IT FOR? You know what it is? It's those damn friends of yours-

The cop and Kenny exchange awkward looks.

OWENS' MOM (BEHIND DOOR)

You're gonna work at that damn store, or I swear to god- you- you- you don’t even want to know mother fucker.

Owen's mom opens the door.

OWENS MOM

I’m so sorry, Kenny. My son would love to work at your store. Owen, do you have anything to say to Kenny? Any questions

OWEN

Can I work the night shift? I don’t wanna see people at school.

KENNY

Yeah, that works, perfect man.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

We see Owen writing in a journal of some kind. He looks up and talks to the camera once more.

OWEN

I got scheduled for that Friday, my first shift at Kenny's. My friends had… mixed reactions.

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

We see Owen, Derrick, Jess, and Chris sitting in a classroom. Owen is visually distressed about having to work at Kenny’s gas station; his friends are trying to cheer him up, and Derrick is trying to convince him that this is a good thing.

OWEN

Remember that robbery from scene ago, that was the master plan of these 3 assholes, we have Jess, she's good with computers and numbers and all that nerd shit. We got Chris, he’s… quiet, and our… Derrick. Absolute genius.

DERRICK

Come on, Owen, don’t you get it? This is great for everyone!

OWEN

How is almost getting arrested, working at a shitty gas station, good for everyone? How is it even good for me?

DERRICK

Owen, you have been given a gift. You have access to the back rooms of Kennys, to security cameras, and to the back door —God damn it, man, you have access to the smokes and the beer, right off the pallet, man!

JESS

I don’t know if that's a great idea, Derrick.. I mean, he’s already in trouble-

DERRICK

Nah, man, it’ll be fine-

OWEN

I’m not gonna steal, man, I’m one slip up away from juvie, I-I can’t risk that man.

DERRICK

Wow.. Dude?

OWEN

What? What are you-

DERRICK

You’re just gonna switch up on us, just like that? After everything-

JESS

Derrick, it's not like that.

OWEN

Nah, man fuck off. I’m not getting arrested for y'all, sorry, that's just it.

DERRICK

After all that we did for you? All of a sudden, we’re too much? That's crazy, we were your only friends, dawg. I thought I knew you, man.

OWEN

Dude, it's not like I don’t like y'all, I just don’t wanna get arrested, dumbass. You think after all this, you would be worried about me or something-

JESS

Derrick, calm down, dude. He just doesn't want to get arrested, man.

CHRIS

Guys.. guys. 

Mr. JEWELL

Gentlemen in the back, is there a problem? Do I need to separate y'all? Am I boring you all?

OWEN

Nah, no problem, Jewell, I-I’ll move.

Owen gets up and walks out of frame to a different table. Jess and Chris look upset, and Derrick looks angry.

Mr. JEWELL

Anyway, as I was saying-

DERRICK (whisper)

Bitch

JESS hits him in the shoulder.

Mr. JEWELL

What was that, Mr. Lewis?

DERRICK

Oh, Uhm, nothing.

CUT

EXT. GAS STATION PARKING LOT - DUSK

OWEN is sitting on his bike, preparing himself to go work with Kenny.

OWEN

That Friday was my first shift with Kenny; I had a routine training lesson beforehand.

Owen is sitting in a small back office space while Kenny shows a slide show on his laptop about routine safety checks, stocking procedures. Owen looks physically bored.

KENNY

…so when we take the snacks from the back, we stock with a first-in-first-out method-

Owen yawns

KENNY

Oh, I’m sorry, man, am I boring you?

OWEN

Uh, yeah, actually, y-you kinda are, I know how to stock a-

KENNY

Oh, that's great! I think Officer Johnson would love to hear about how bored you are. W-Would you like that?

Owen nervously sits up straight and pays attention.

KENNY

That's more like it, anyway.

INT. GAS STATION - NIGHT

Owen is stocking shelves when a group of girls walks in, laughing. They spot Owen and start giggling quietly.

EMILY

Owen? What are you doing here?

OWEN

Hey Emily, I'm- working?

Owen gestures at the shelf he is stocking.

EMILY

You work at Kenny’s now?

The girls all laugh.

EMILY

Nah, that's crazy, get your money up, little man.

We cut to Owen behind the counter as they walk out and drive off.

KENNY

Don't worry about those girls, man, those are butterflies.

OWEN

What coach carter bulls--t are you talking about now, man?

KENNY

You listen to the College dropout? Gold digger?

Owen looks confused.

KENNY

Kanye? Kanye West? One of the greatest albums of our lifetimes?

OWEN

You talking about that nazi dude?

We zoom in on Kenny's face.

Kenny:

Ohh baby!

The drums start, and Kenny does a cover of Kanye West's Gold Digger.

OWEN:

We couldn't afford the real song, so our cover will have to do. Don’t get pissed at us, get pissed at copyright law.

 

The music fades out, and Jess, Chris, and Derrick bust through the door. We hear a record scratch.

Derrick

Give me all the money in the register, now!

Kenny

What?

Derrick

Are you deaf? Give me all the money in the register, now!

Kenny

HA- get the hell out of here.

Derrick

I’m not playing old fuck!

Derrick pulls out a knife.

Owen

Jesus- Derrick? Dawg? What are you doing? W-Where did you get a knife, man?

Derrick

Ebay! Pussy!

Sarah

I-I got mine at the mall-

Derrick

Jessica! Shut. The fuck. Up! Now give me all the money!

Kenny laughs.

Kenny

Alright-

Kenny pulls out a gargantuan pump double-barreled and aims down the sights at the camera.

Kenny

Now get the hell out of here before I have to get him to clean your god damn brains off the tile.

Chris

Woah!

Derrick, Chris, and Jess all run away and scream, dropping their stuff and running back out into the woods. Owen is audibly startled. Kenny is laughing his ass off.

OWEN

Jesus Christ, man! You've had that under the counter this whole time?

KENNY

Yeah, I almost forgot about it, honestly. I-I don’t even know if it's loaded; it's been sitting under here for 25ish years. I-I should get like a safe or something for this dude.

He looks at it for a second and points it at Owen.

KENNY

Does it look loaded? I-I can’t tell.

Owen ducks, and Kenny laughs.

KENNY

Wanna go knock some cans off the fence? 

OWEN

I’ve never shot before.

KENNY 

It’s easy, man, you’ve got this.

Owen runs to the door and flips the closed sign.

EXT. KENNY BACKLOT - NIGHT

Kenny and Owen are knocking old soda cans off the back fence, and some sort of country song plays in the background.

CUT

INT. GAS STATION - NIGHT

While Owen and Kenny are shooting cans off the fence, Jess sneaks into the store.

JESS

Hello? Owen? Kenny? I-I’m sorry about my frien-

Jess looks around and sees no one's home, she opens her wallet and takes a marker off the counter, writes something out, and slaps it on the counter, before running out when she hears them coming back in. The 5$ bill says “SORRY” in a sloppy Sharpie drawing. She turns around and quickly leaves before Owen and Kenny come back in. Kenny and Owen walk back in and find the $5 bill.

OWEN 

I spent a lot of time in my junior year trying to be liked, and by most standards, I failed. But I learned something from that. 

Music starts

OWEN (CONT)

I learned that being unliked is better than hanging out with dicks. I learned that some people are cooler than you may have thought, meeting them, and I learned that some people can change, and most importantly, I learned-

INT. GAS STATION - DAY

We see Kenny behind the counter and Owen flexing a stack of cash. He waives it in the air reminiscent of prime Chief Keef.

OWEN

That Kenny pays fucking good, man, look at this shit I’m balling out here dude holy shit-

Kenny runs from behind the counter and grabs the money out of his hand.

KENNY

What the fuck do you think you’re doing, man? Dude, we got robbed last night, man, don’t be flaunting that shit. Plus, you owe me for the damage, remember? 

OWEN

Shit, my bad man.

KENNY

Here, here's a tip: don’t spend it all in one place. Grab a drink and get the fuck out of here.

OWEN (laugh/whisper)

Bitch

KENNY (laugh)

What was that?

Text flashes on screen. “OWEN, KENNY, AND THE GANG AND THEIR WACKY ADVENTURES OF THEIFERY, CRIME, GAS STATIONS, AND VARIOUS OTHER TOMFOOLERY… 

…WILL RETURN”

FADE TO BLACK

INT. GAS STATION - NIGHT

Kenny is sitting behind the counter, and Owen is reading a magazine. Nothing is going on, slow day.

OWEN:

Hey, Kenny,

KENNY:

Yeah, dude, what's up?

OWEN:

I heard that- that someone in town is possessed by an ow. Have you heard anything about it?

KENNY:

What? Someone was possessed by an owl?

OWEN:

Uhh.. yeah man someone.

KENNY:

Who?- 

Kenny stops what he is doing and stares off into the distance; Owen giggles in the background. As Owen is giggling, we see Kenny spin around and throw a bag of candy “tomahawk style” at Owen. We freeze frame on the bag 2 inches from his forehead, and we roll the rest of the credits.

THE END