Life mai ek aim rakhne ka aadhikaar har bacche ka hota hai... taki uske uper wo mehnat kar sake aur use hasil kar sake, I was not allowed to have such privilege.
Mai without accommodations, survive nahi kr paunga in a healthy way...

Agar mere jaise neurodiverse bacche pe koi physical disability nahi hoti toh wo simply sports mai kar raha hota kuch maybe India ka next Messi, Ronaldo, next Dhoni, etc. hota...
Ya toh arts me kar raha hota kuch...
Kyunki usse just lagta ki wo padai mai interested nahi hai/padai usse nahi hori/ nahi ho sakti... toh wo just kisi aur field ko apna career bna leta...

But I didn't had such privilege either... I can't have a career in sports wo bhi fully abled logon ke sath...
I can't have a career in arts... meri drawing bilkul bhi acchi nahi hai... aur mereko just boring lagata hai... mai nahi baith ke kuch draw krna chahunga kabhi, ya kar hi nahi sakta....

Mere pass jyada options nahi the bachpan mai aim rakhne ke liye... mai padhai-likhayi hi karke kuch kar sakta tha aage... itna maine smj liya tha... toh I had to study... I had to create my coping mechanisms to be able to study... but 12th tak toh jaise taise mai kar paya cope... abb higher education mai nahi kr paa raha hun... 
maine self-taught mechanisms se khud se code krna seekha and then I got an entry-level job and waha accha, exceptionally well kaam karke 2.5 years mai Senior Developer ki position haasil kari, even without a degree or a formal education or training... puri mehnat se... yeh aim ko fulfill kar raha tha mai... 30 years age tak mera plan sorted tha... 
after 30, I thought would I would reduce screen time, would be either managing people, or doing my own entrepreneurial stuff... something jo mai in 10 years mai build krta...
Aur mere pass koi option bhi nahi hai... na tha... Pehele toh aisa kisi ke bhi sath nahi hona chahiye... ita majboor aur tadapna kisis ko bhi nahi chahiye...

I am not stupid... maine sab kuch try kiya apne end se... padayi muje se nahi ho sakti... maine sab kuch try kar liya hai... mai 16 saal se timetables/time management ke liye charts bna raha hun... I have great experience in making timetables but never following them... unko bna ke mai kisi container mai daal deta hun... aur bhul jata hun... agar walls aur doors mai chipka dun tab bhi there would be very less chances ki mai usko dekhun kabhi... 
Aur agar in sab mechanisms/frameworks se mai struggle kar karke thori bahut padai kar bhi leta hun... tabh bhi next challenge is "EXAM" my worst nightmare... exam hall mai kaha se kuch mechanisms banaunga... mereko white noise nahi milegi waha pe... whaha pe stress bhi rehga jyada toh phir mere cognitive functions decline hone lagenge... jaise blankness... lack of concentration and focus....  baar baar questions padne par bhi nahi ghussega deemaag mai... aur ghus bhi gya toh solve karke jab tak answer nahi nikal jata next questions pe move on nahi kar paunga... aur agar forcefully kar bhi leta hun... toh wo questions mere deemag mai tab bhi rehga jab mai next question kar raha honga.... These challenges comes with my neurodivergence.

I can't do anything about these challenges... inn issues ki wajeh se mai toh kabhi acche marks la hi nahi paunga... aur aage kaise badunga... mere pass aur koi options bhi nahi hai... mai apna full potential kaise prove kar paaunga... I struggle in exams, I struggle in interviews, I struggle in sports, or any physical activities,

Why am I being tortured to study when I can't? even when I want to study...
Why am I left with no options?? 
Mai hi kyun?? Why can't I have the right to education mere tarekon se? Why can't I have the right to work mere tareekon se?? Why can't I live and work and study in a healthy way?
Mai kya karun??

Muje accessibility features aur accommodations chahiye kaam karne ke liye, padaii karne ke liye... big fonts, high contrasts texts, etc...
Mai chote akshar nahi padh sakta college ke books ke, wo meri aankh mai jor dalte hain... aankh mai dard aur phir sar mai dard hone lagta hai... Aur mere liye big fonts wali book toh koi develop nahi karega specially, so I can only read from screens jaha mai fonts ko bada kar sakta hun... aur usme bhi breaks chaiye honge, aur low stress bhi taki concentrate bhi kar sakun...
isiliye maine pehle kudh ki shamta se online degree mai enroll kiya... Ab wo bhi nahi ho raha muj se...

Mere parents ki kya galti hai jinko meri jaisi aulaad mili??? 
Mere chote bhaii ki aisi kya galti hai jisko mere jaisa bada bhai mila... jisko bada bhai btane mai bhi usko uske doston ke samne sharminda hona pade... self esteem aur self confidence down krna pade...
I am Incomplete in every way... Mai jindagi mai kuch nahi kar pa raha hun... I am disabled in every way...

Mai without accommodations, in a healthy way survive nahi kar paaunga aage... maine sab kuch try kar liya hai apne end se... and I gave up... bina accommodations ke mai nahi kar paunga that's why I reached out for help... but log meri problems ko seriously le hi nahi rahe... this is very frustrating... People are like that Ishan's teacher jo jabardasti bol rahe hai ki book pakdo aur padho... arre nahi pad sakta mai... nahi hota mere se... aur mai just sub consciously read out kar bhi lunga toh mind mai toh wo ghuse ga hi nahi... log yeh kyun nahi samj paate???

Muje accommodations chahiye taki mai apni aage ki bachi kuchi jindgi healthy way mai jee sakun... taki padai puri kar sakun... taki kuch kaam kar sakun... kuch kaam ke kabil ban sakun... taki khud ka ek parivar bana sakun kal ko... aur apne parivaar ko, apne biwi-bacchon ko ek secure future de sakun... ek healthy life ji sakun aur ek healthy future rakh sakun... 

Meri most sellable skill jo Maine khud se hasil ki hai wo technical skills hi hain... jinko mai abb without extra baggage of taking care of my only eye, ab theek se utilize bhi nahi kar skta...
Pehle hi life mai itni difficulties hain, har tarah se....
jeene kyun nahi dere mujko??
I am disabled in every way...