For years, I’ve been under the impression that comedian Sarah Silverman was the home economics teacher in the 2007 buddy comedy classic, Superbad. 

Now, in 2021, it’s time to put this matter to rest, once and for all. I’m petitioning that Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Judd Apatow, Greg Mottola, Allison Jones (CSA), and every executive at Columbia Pictures create a new cut of the film that includes Silverman as the Mrs. Hayworth, the Home Economics teacher. 

Logistically speaking, you’d only need to employ Jonah Hill, Sarah Silverman, and some background actors to reshoot this version of the scene. You could hypothetically get it done in separate pieces, if both actors have availability conflicts by utilizing body doubles and clever angles. 

This petition, in no way, is intended to undermine the performance given by Brooke Dillman, the original actress in this role. She did a standout job in the original scene. This is purely an effort aimed to reimagine a comedy classic with a casting choice that makes more sense in my (the viewer’s) head. 

Really, I’ll settle for Sarah Silverman to just give a direct to camera performance quoting Dillman by barking “Fogel?! Hi!”. This alone would suffice as a compromise between artist and audience. I can cut together the rest with my millennial/gen Z super powers.