At one point I was begging him to spend time with our daughter. In our own conversations, I was the one saying I was not doing custody with his mom, I was doing custody with him. I said it plainly: if he wanted more time, he needed to actually be there. Instead, I moved with the understanding that my daughter was supposed to move with me too, and then all contact was cut off.

This is not just about one heartbreaking situation. Too many parents know what it feels like to be the one showing up, doing the daily work, being the constant, and then still getting pushed out while other adults who are not the child's primary parent get treated like equal decision-makers. When a parent has not been consistently present, the court system should not reward that absence by letting custody be routed through other family members while the active parent loses access.

I am calling for family courts to prioritize the parent who has been consistently caring for the child and to stop informal custody arrangements that pass parenting time through grandparents or other relatives instead of the actual parent. Custody decisions should be based on who is truly there for the child, who is meeting their needs, and whether the arrangement protects the child's stability and bond with their parent. Courts should require a clear review of actual involvement before reducing a mother's or father's contact with their child.

My daughter always had me. That bond should not be erased through silence, money, or backroom arrangements between adults. If you believe family courts must put children's real, active parents first, please sign and help demand change.