As I look back on this photo of Lorenzo's very first feeding on November 3, 2020, I had no idea what would become of our breastfeeding journey just a few short months later. 

I am proud to say that despite all of the adversity from Lorenzo's biological father - including his successful attempts of utilizing the family court system for domestic abuse by proxy to interrupt Lorenzo's ability to nurse on-demand - Lorenzo is still breastfeeding 12 months later. It has been no easy feat.

I am so proud of my little champion nurser. He struggled a lot in the beginning with his latch, and had difficulty with suckling and feeding efficiently. Learning to breastfeed after a c-section was new to me as well. He was slow but steady with gaining back his birth weight. He was very persnickety with nursing on both sides, as well as he had distinct preferences for how he was positioned while he nursed. He also had very strong preferences as to where he liked to nurse. He's grown into a superstar who can nurse any time and any place. Lorenzo can even use simple sign language to let me know that he would like to nurse. Our journey has been mostly amazing. However, it has been tainted by family court involvement. 

I would love to say that, just like his big sister and so many other exclusively breastfed babies, he's never had a bottle or formula. However, this is sadly not the case. The helpless feeling of having someone else decide that my fundamental right to feed MY child in the way that he SHOULD be fed was trivial,  and therefore was dismissed. It was heart-wrenching to endure...it still is every time that Lorenzo is on his mandated 24 hour separations. The look on his little face is that of desperation, and confusion as to why I am letting it happen to him. He spends hours upon hours at the breast after being reunited with me - acting as if he is afraid that he will have them taken away again if he lets go. No amount of reassurance can calm his frantic cries as he tugs at my top while desperately signing "milk" with his tiny hand. HE IS TRAUMATIZED by overnight separations because he is appropriately cluster feeding throughout the night while nursing on-demand while he is awake. THIS IS NORMAL BREASTFEEDING BEHAVIOR. 

I feel violated. I am his mother. We have a special breastfeeding bond that cannot be replicated, nor should be disrespected or disregarded as non-essential to Lorenzo's wellbeing. His father initially wanted nothing to do with my son, and at the same time had forbid me from breastfeeding him to begin with.

This is an area of parenting that our bottle feeding society tends to not understand one single bit. Therefore, only professionals in the field of lactation should be allowed to rule on how a mother feeds her child. Pediatricians, lactation consultants, and other breastfeeding advocates completely and fully understand the importance of preserving the breastfeeding relationship of mother and child while encouraging the co-parent to also exercise their parental rights based on the specific developmental and age appropriate needs of the nursing child. The system does not have a clue how damaging their intentions for being "fair" are. Fair is NOT everyone getting the same thing. Fair is what is in the absolute best interest of an innocent child. It is alarmingly unfair to a breastfeeding infant/toddler/preschooler to endure lengthy forced separations from their mothers. It is cruel. There is no other way to describe it. 

It is too late to avert the damaging consequences to Lorenzo that lengthy separations have caused. Yet, I cannot just sit back and accept that this happens to other children every day. 

On behalf of baby Lorenzo, a most sincere THANK YOU to everyone who has signed and shared this petition in anticipation of calling change to action and is helping to spread awareness of breastfeeding being a HUMAN RIGHT. 

Love and light to all. ❤