➡ Parental Alienation happens when a toxic person pulls the heart of a child away from a parent with the intent of creating detachment and resentment. 
People who engage in PA often exploit normal parent/child discord. At their core, a parental alienator is jealous of the relationship the child have/had with their parent and will go to elaborate lengths to destroy. Especially if one parent does not have natural maternal or paternal instincts, where a bond is not natural. Alienation is quite often rooted in jealousy, vindictiveness and various levels of anger rooted in lack, especially if fueled by Cluster-B personalities and traits, and own childhood traumas.

The complete lack of care for how it damages their child is another common trait. There is a well known saying out there; "She hates her ex more than she loves her child".  Surely one can replace "she" with "he" in some cases, although, commonly this quote is coming from Fathers rights organizations and experiences from Fathers.

This is one of the many reasons this is classified as child abuse; Coercion, intimidation, isolation, control and emotional abuse.

➡ A parent cannot claim to care for their child or call themselves a good parent while treating their child in such harmful and abusive ways. 

Why often what the child says is not based on reality or lived history in these cases, and what professionals, family and courts have to always take into consideration.

Ever heard of confirmation bias?
It’s when people believe something… and then only notice things that “prove” they’re right.
So they start pointing out every tiny mistake.

➡ Twisting normal moments.
➡ Ignoring anything positive.
Only the negative gets attention.

Over time, the child hears this again and again… and starts “believing” it too.
Not because it’s true, but because it’s repeated.

Equally concerning is how often professionals can fall into this same trap, only seeing one side of the story.

As a result, too many reports are flawed and problematic, because they do not reflect the truth or the child’s lived history. They often become nothing more than another tool used by the aggressor, making the child a parrot, echoing false narratives. Most parents share such experiences where reports only amplifies the false narratives vs reality.

➡ That’s where lived history comes into play.

It is crucial for professionals to take lived history into account when speaking to a child or youth forced into these abusive dynamics and environments.

Using a child as a weapon against a good parent with a long history of being involved and present is a deeply insidious form of psychological abuse, of both the child and the parent.

This is why more and more judges, courts and professionals are paying attention to these dynamics, and why laws are being amended and changed.

The voices of the victims are growing louder every day.

🙈🙉🙊