So it's finally come down to this. Nintendo announced two Metroid games at E3 this year, and the "fans" are going crazy. But the true fans know better.

These two announcements are a slap in the face to any true Metroid fan. We've waited 13 years since the last TRUE Metroid game (Other M, Federation Force, and Prime 3 don't count) and they respond to the fans with... these abominations.
Metroid Prime 4 is just a screenshot of a title screen right now. We don't know what kind of gimmicks they are going to infect this game with so I refuse to get excited. But if I get a whiff of gimmick, expect to see me at this space again. (and on Twitter, NoA)

But the real gut punch of these announcements is their "reimagining" of Metroid II: Return of Samus. How DARE they announce a remake for this game after what they did to DoctorM64 and his masterpiece Another Metroid 2 Remake? (henceforth known as AM2R.) AM2R is an original masterpiece sprung forth from mind of its creator, and as such Nintendo is stealing the idea of a Metroid 2 Remake from him. Nintendo must make recompense.

So, Nintendo should cancel their foetid remake, Metroid: Samus Returns (Henceforth known as ShitMetroid), and recognize, legitimize, and canonize AM2R. This is the only way to bring back TRUE Metroid fans.

As an additional gesture to fans, Nintendo should also canonize my Metroid supplementary novel, Kraid: Origins. It fleshes out the story of how Kraid became a member of Mother Brain's army. It has also been accepted by TRUE Metroid fans as the definitive work concerning Kraid, and thus must be canonized by Nintendo before they can earn the fans' trust back.

Until then, this is a message to all AM2R fans, keep up the good fight in beating back Nintendo's scurrilous attempts to appropriate our work. Together we can get them to cancel this shitty game and make AM2R an official entry in the series we love so much.

UPDATE:
I've received some email questions and correspondence concerning this petition. I thought I would take the time to answer the ones I deem to be fit.

Q. Are you worried about MercurySteam being the developer of the Metroid 2 remake?
A. First let me say that this game is not the official remake of the Metroid fan community. That is and always will be AM2R. Second, yes I am very nervous. This is the developer that ruined Castlevania. Just that fact alone would have caused a boycott similar to the Federation Force boycott. They were shrewd to show the gameplay footage first to lull the lesser Metroid fans into security before revealing the betrayal of developer choice.

Q. Are you worried that Yoshio Sakamoto is involved in the Metroid 2 remake?
A. Again, ShitMetroid is not the official Metroid 2 Remake of the fan community. That is and always will be AM2R. And yes I am very concerned with his involvement. He clearly has no idea how to make a Metroid game any more, and is therefore stealing ideas from other Metroid projects. It would be good to remove Yoshio Sakamoto from this project as well, considering he is a vehement misogynist and doesn't care for the character of Samus, as well as not caring about the series.

Q. I've seen some things you've posted in various Metroid community and message boards with a picture of Samus in "congress" with Solid Snake and Little Mac from Smash Brothers. Is it possible that the Metroid community also does not think of Samus in a positive light, and you can't be ones to judge?
A. I don't have to defend my multiple folders of Samus imagery from the pointless criticisms of sex-negative hyperfeminists. Let's just say Samus being plowed into ahegao by Little Mac and Snake would be better than how she was written in Other M.

Q. If Nintendo, Yoshio Sakamoto, et al. didn't care about the Metroid series, why were they developing 3 games at the same time since 2015?
A. It's obvious that they didn't care about Metroid until the petition was made against Federation Force, and then they quickly cobbled together something that would please the more idiotic fans (who are eating it up like morons). Even ShitMetroid is made is response to the glorious AM2R.

Q. How can Metroid: Samus Returns be in response to AM2R, when it was development for 2 years?
A. I don't trust a word out of any developer's mouth after No Man's Sky. Suffice to say, anything that comes out of Yoshio Sakamoto's mouth is something I will never believe. It's obvious this is quickly thrown together, and the positive reception is due to the Metroid fanbase being morons.

Q. Do you think these two games being more or less what the Metroid fanbase asked for will allow some retrospective views of Federation Force, Other M, and Metroid Blast to change for the positive, and perhaps a little respect for the developer's intentions?
A. Absolutely Not. The True Fans will always reject this 3DS tripe, no matter what game it is. If Nintendo wanted a more positive reception for Federations Force, they should have announced Samus Returns (ShitMetroid) at the same time. But they chose to spit on us first, and then offer slightly better afterward and now the idiot "fans" are eating it up.

Hopefully Nintendo listens to their fans and stops with these half-hearted attempts and make a TRUE Metroid game in the future. Please keep sending in questions for me to answer.