Make Shermy the main character of A Charlie Brown Christmas

Make Shermy the main character of A Charlie Brown Christmas

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David Desrocher started this petition to Ms. Palmer

For years we have been disgraced by the unsightly view of a man named Charlie Brown. He stars in a very classic Christmas special called A Charlie Brown Christmas in which he tries to understand "the true meaning of Christmas" to which I say is a foolish idea. Why would anyone want to watch a show about some blockhead six year old try to discover Christmas when he is so obviously afraid of everything! He doesn't even like the wonderful Christmas pageant the other kids have put on as he just takes his time to criticize it into the ground. Poor Schroeder got depressed after this experience and he began having trouble playing the piano for three months afterwords! He doesn't even like Linus and Lucy (the song) and you tell me, do you want someone who doesn't like that song to represent Christmas to your children?

Nay I say there is a better, more likable character who is much more mature, dashing, humble, and intelligent. One who sits in Charlie Brown's shadow year after year as he is forced into playing the Shepherd year after year. Yes, you all know who I'm talking about by his wonderful and iconic blue shirt (which may have also been green in the original but that's not important it's his show now). Of course I'm talking about our one true king Shermy. Think about how much better a Shermy Unknown Last Name Christmas would be in comparison. There would be no arguing, no sadness. If Shermy directed the Christmas play, the poor children could dance all they wanted. You see for Shermy is afraid of nothing and has a perfectly round head unlike the blockiness of Charlie Brown's head. Shermy is better in heart, mind, and soul as a character and a person. Shermy has more experience in the Christmas pageant scene by far. Shermy plays the Shepherd, EVERY YEAR! Charlie Brown directed zero times. Not to mention Shermy helps Schroeder bring out his piano every day as well as take it back in, Charlie Brown helps no one. He can't even hit a football or a can, his aim is so bad he's even hit his own dog on occasion. Shermy does not hit dogs. Shermy does not abuse animals. Not to mention that tree, Shermy wouldn't have picked a bad tree like Charlie Brown, he would've picked a nice, big, metal tree, and he would've painted it blue! (Because pink isn't a good tree color, but the iconic Shermy blue is much better).

Not only this but people don't seem to realize that Charlie Brown is the main antagonist, not the protagonist! He is against everything Christmas! He is trying to steal it from the big eastern syndicate! Not Shermy! He understands Christmas, he doesn't even need a monologue from Linus. Not only that but again, Shermy is a more memorable character than Charlie Brown. The dance he does every day, dubbed the Shermy Shuffle is an iconic dance which has been copied throughout the ages, ever since 1965. Everyone knows the Shermy Shuffle. No one knows the Charlie Brown, whatever he does. Not to mention that unlike our antagonist Charlie Brown, Shermy is a protagonist who is also the tragic hero of A Charlie Brown Christmas.

I hold this proof here and now to show why this switch should be made, in fact I think Charlie Brown should be cut from the show. This proof is undeniable and solid. Since we already know that I can prove these things and we know this will have hundreds of signatures, once you decide to make the switch, here are my demands.

Shermy will require...

  • At LEAST 250+ more lines
  • At LEAST 3 musical solos
  • A 10 minute long dance Solo for the Shermy Shuffle
  • Directorial powers over the pageant
  • Power to choose the Shepherds
  • The power to kill off peanuts who he deems unworthy
  • His own dog commercial
  • 10+ more scenes
  • $10s and $20s
  • A lights and display contest
  • 10+ Monologues
  • And another piano for Schroeder as well as a five minute minimum solo for Schroeder on the piano

Shermy will make the show better, and improve Schroeder's piano playing. Justice for Shermy!

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