Recently, local cat allergy advocate Richard Evans made a series of controversial comments about co-host Jay Bauman. These comments were related to police commissioner Cameron Mitchell's statements about facilitating a 'Tums Festival.' In a recent interview, Richard Evans made a series of slanderous allegations that Mr.Bauman (a respected member of the clergy) had completely fabricated mister Mitchell's statements, and that he was somehow morally compromised and unable to represent the township of Milwaukee in film criticism and tums related matters. We respectfully but firmly demand a full apology from mister Evans, accompanied by 10 lashings in the public square to make up for the serious psychological burden put on all members of the Bauman household and the citizens of Milwaukee. We also require Mr. Evans to wear a shirt with the phrase 'tums festival' in order to mark him with the great shame he deserves.