By now, you've probably seen the reaction to Sam Smith's new Bond theme: It's not great.

In fact, to use the words of random Twitter users, it's "unlistenable" and "utter s**t".

You don't want another Jack White and Alicia Keys. Nobody wants Jack White and Alicia Keys. 

You know what would make a great Bond theme instead? Conchita Wurst's new single, 'Where Have All The Good Men Gone?'

I mean, come on. You don't need me to sell this to you - she's a bearded Austrian drag queen who SCREAMS glam. It's Shirley Bassey all over again!

And just listen to the track! (THAT'S how you do grandiose orchestrations, Sam. You'd probably know if you'd spent more than 20 minutes on yours).

So, dear world, let's rise up: Conchita Wurst for Bond theme, 2015.