Dearest friends,

This petition is for perhaps the most important social movement of this century. The McDonald's corporation has slighted all Northerners by choosing not to offer the Southern Style Chicken Biscuit in the Northern United States. We have been proactively campaigning against this action for quite some time but have yet to be heard. We toil on unceasingly in our endeavor and we demand the satisfaction that is delicious chickeny biscuit. In the spirit of this movement please take a few moments to sign this petition which will be hand electronically delivered to the McDonald's governing body that has power over this decision, which we believe to be a coalition or fellowship of some sort, in order to right this wrong. Remember that every signature is one step closer to this sweet nirvana and also remember the Alamo. 

Sincerely,

The Bring McDonald's Southern Style Chicken Biscuit to the North Social Justice Group for the Northernly Impaired