Hey, thanks for killing our buzz, Mayor Dad, great job. You're doing a great job of keeping us safe from fun. This is your best achievement since you made us host your weird South American Wheelchair Olympics. Bravo.

I'm concerned that maybe you're not going far enough. Maybe we should crack down on fun video games, or cool new bands? Even as we speak, the Cineplex at Yonge and Dundas is selling beer at R-rated movies. You might wanna send the police.

People are dressing too sexy on the beach, too.

In conclusion, you've just made great strides in your "No-fun" agenda, but why not take it further? How about we pull a full on Footloose and outlaw dancing? Ya fuckin' knob.