The mother, protector, defender, and carer....has to fight for her disability child...young or old....
The dual roles of nurturing carer and fighting protector are both demonstrated in the young heroine woman from complex movie Shadow in the Clouds that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Its a very dramatic portrayal of the two sides of a mother - she is very caring and gentle with her young, but she is very tough and aggressive with those who would hurt her child. The men in the story put her down as a woman that they insult and objectify yet she is the one killing their enemies at the same time.
Having said that it is a great source of depression for mothers when the ability to protect their vulnerable child is thwarted...it leads to desperation, helplessnes and then depression because she cannot do what is her primal need to protect that vulnerable and helpless child. The girl in this movie shouts at the alien when he grabs the bag carrying the baby in it "You no idea how far I will go!" she screams.
I have seen people shoot guns at aliens in movies but I have never seen a young woman beat one up with her bare hands. It was pretty impressive Sure it is a fantasy but it shows the intensity of her need to protect her baby from harm.
Many mothers of children and adult children with intellectual disabilities have had the means of protecting their children taken from them particularly for their children's futures there is fear what could happen.
On the one hand the mothers are unsung heroes because they are 'carers' and are pushed to the edge with all the demands on them to meet that child's needs, and so must have breaks to help self cope, without which they may fall apart, and yet on the other hand they do not want that child to go into care in case they are hurt while alone there at the mercy of good or bad workers and she the mother cannot defend them. Since parents have been fighting for their disability child since the day she or he was born.
They are thwarted from protecting even their adult child when they have to put them in care. Thwarted due to the absence of CCTV security cameras in the places to deter workers who may hurt them. No cameras no accountability by the providers. That combined with inadequate protection laws for those vulnerable with disabilities and needing strong laws that make that child of theirs with a disability protected.
This essentially puts a parent in a trap and mode of helplessness. Caught and with no way out from helping themselves may put their child in mortal danger even yes of death because providers do not train their workers enough to do the right things and to care properly so acccidental and preventable deaths happen because workers do not follow instructions properly dealing with those persons with seizures or who can choke. It is just a job in many cases and a means to money.
This girl in the movie has a mission and it takes her through hell - fighting standing up shooting at the enemy (in this case Japaness planes attacking them in WWII) and standing up against the attitudes of the men on the plane who treat her as an object a silly woman, an emotional woman, a crazy woman all the things they use to keep a woman from standing up for herself and having a job to do only she can do but she is a great fighter. The adrenalin is running as she fights for that innocent child.
Not only does she handle the gun on the plane but she ends up beating up an alien all on her own and she goes after it with a vengeance and why? For her child, her little baby...hidden in her bag
one minute she is fighting aliens and shooting down planes and the next she talking to her baby 'hello sweetie'....
It is complex but actually women do have that duel job of caring and then fighting and in my case for your disability child. The adrenalin is always running from the sheer workload and the amount of fighting that has to be done for that vulnerable one in order to protect them.
if you the mother do not fight you will be destroyed by the forces around our that are cold, callous and do not care and those even so called 'providers' who do not provide enough care but are more takers of as much funds you have as they can...as in the words of Billy Ailish "Im not your friend.." has now become my mantra to the providers because they act as if they are your best friend and care about your child while talking to their workers behind your back and possibly your child's and running you both down as they take what they can get from NDIS we have been allotted to your child and then ignore what we ask for from them. If our child is hurt or bullied and you find out they pretend it never happened they act as if they are your friend once again and I say in my heart - Im not your friend. What am I stupid? The stories are so blatant and repeated "Our policy is for the best outcomes for your child" meaning no outcome "we would never allow abuse" after abuse occurs "we will not let our workers do it" after their workers have done it "We will investigate" they dont...
I guess we need to beat up the aliens too, meaning the dark forces that are trying to bring us parents down and make us give up. Stuart Robert although human apparently, has a very alien look about him if not lord of the rings Gollum. 'My precious' being the money.
I rang the ndis quality commission after I talked to the provider, and said can you do anything about my child being slapped as he is coming home and slapping us and we have never slapped or hit him so he is learning this from another client, or a)a worker who is slapping my son or b) a worker is slapping another client or c)a client slapping my son d) a client is slapping another client.
Whether its a) b) or C) its bad. Ndis said its tricky without evidence. My son was injured a year ago and had a swollen head, you had evidence then and you still did nothing I noted to the robotic like person at the other end repeating herself what she has been taught to say.
The manager of the respite house where this slapping behaviour started occurring said no I havent seen anything with wide eyed ignorance I cant be there every minute with every worker. Of course you cant I I said you dont have cameras, none of the workers have said anything she said, they dont want to lose their jobs I said.
The quality commission girl on the phone said we can only re-educate them and put in protocols. Well its not working I said there is no deterrence from workers harming our children. As for the word "re-educate" that's a very overseas influence term of those who use it for their imprisoning of poor sods in their detention camps. Cool they are re-educating the providers - putting them in a detention camp and leaving the lights on all night and torturing them. That would be great thanks.
I actually want the providers to be accountable and punishments to be issued for those who hurt our young. No just banning the perpetrators, but actual prosecutions and prison. It needs to be a criminal offence to hurt our vulnerable ones who have disabilities, intellectual or otherwise. If they want to reeducate the providers how about doing that and actually penalizing them. but the prison camps are ok too.
The lady at ndis said we have fairness policies for providers - what about those with disabilities the participants - is it fair that they can get hurt even die and no one gets punished? Yeah re-educate the providers make them suffer for a change!
We mothers need to stand up for ourselves and our disability child's rights and you dont have to be 'nice' all the time. It is your right to protect your son or daughter, and you can stand up and fight its right for you to do that. Dont go along with things that your providers do including bullying you or your child...and their false narratives of deception...fight for your child always and stick up for yourself we have to break the 'nice' mold, we are not helpless, we are stronger than they think. I'm all for reducating the providers, but I think I will do it my way since the NDIS way is to do nothing at all.
With all this fighting and adrenalin running parents run out of steam frequently and to make our lives easier is the need for the cameras since workers come and go and politicians remain hardhearted. Mothers are at risk...they love their children so much they will do anything for them but then they get worn out and at higher risk of heart attacks, cancer and accidents due to the stress wearing them down. We have to help each other to get through all the difficulties and we need those cameras for peace of mind. I checked the nsw laws the other day for using spy cams apparently if your partner is hitting you can use one or a phone to record him doing it because it is for your protection. That's great now how about using cameras to protect our children who cannot speak or we will never have the evidence they need and the only option left to parents is the spycam? It trully is a battle we wage for our children...we must help each other in whatever way we can. #disabilitylivesmatteroz
All the best
Anndrea x
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