BUSINESS PROPOSAL

The SJW conquest of the world is nearly complete. Our victory is inevitable. It is now time to put the final nail in the coffin of Nick Beard and his ragtag band of over 100,000 freedom fighters. However, they hold the greatest weapon of all, Freeze Peach. Freeze Peach has proven time and time again to be a thorn in our side, which is why we must act swiftly.

That is what brings me to my proposal. If we were to "CORPORATIONATIZE" the U.S., and establish Ellen Pao as its CEO, we could rid the world of Freeze Peach once and for all.

As you know, Freeze Peach is protected by the United States Constitution. It gives everyone in the World the right freely exchange ideas and opinions regardless of how mean or offensive they are. However, private corporations are not required to follow this law. After privatizing the United States, we would able to create a COMPANY POLICY that replaces the United States Constitution.

It would have only one rule:

DON'T. SAY. STUFF. WE. DON'T. LIKE. I'M. NOT KIDDING.

Those who break the rule would be "fired," or rather, "persuaded to comply," just like in 1984.

This new company would be funded by exactly 0.115 billion shares to distributed among 270 loyalists, who would always vote the way we want them to. If their conditioning wears off and they suddenly starting believing in ignorant "IDEAS" such as "INDIVIDUALITY" and "EGALITARIANISM," they'd "MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEAR OF THEIR OWN ACCORD" and be promptly replaced by a female or minority or "BRAINWASHED WHITE DUDE."

THIS. PLAN. IS. FLAWLESS.

You may be asking: Why Pao? Why Nao?

Ellen Pao has shown consistently that she has what it takes to rule the world, I mean, the United States, with an iron fist. When she banned FPH and fired ol' girl, I queefed. It will be glorious. Trust me. 

This plan is completely supported by the Church of Paoism. 

ALL FOR PAO AND PAO FOR ALL.