The situation has reached a level of crisis that can no longer be ignored: Oliver Menna remains tragically marooned in Indiana, a fate no reasonable person could have anticipated. With every passing hour, the psychological toll of endless cornfields, inexplicably straight roads, and the haunting realization that he is no longer in Illinois grows more severe. His natural habitat lies across the state line, where civilization, familiar surroundings, and his rightful existence await. Experts (at least the imaginary ones) would likely agree that the only humane, logical, and morally defensible solution is the immediate extraction and safe return of Oliver Menna to Illinois. Delaying this operation risks irreversible exposure to Hoosierdom and untold levels of Midwestern confusion. Therefore, for the preservation of public order, common sense, and Oliver’s well-being, he must be returned to Illinois effective immediately.