Return of the P.B. Crisps
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Take a second and think back to 1993 when snack food was the best it ever was. Planters, a division of Kraft Foods created a sweet, delightful, almost orgasmic treat in honor of their patriarch, Mr. Peanut. Its name was the P.B. Crisps. Enveloped in a bright red bag that screamed for your attention, it was a beautifully medley of crispy and crunchy, peanut shaped cookie with an internal cavity of super sweet, delicious peanut butter. Just describing it, I can already taste it again.
Unfortunately, that's impossible because in the mid 90's Planters decided to assasinate Mr. Peanut's sweet, cookie brother and break the hearts of sweet snack lovers all over the globe. Our era now has children who will never know what these decadent peanut butter cookie morsels taste like.
Unless... The Planters company and Kraft give back to us (one of the top 20 missed food items of all time) our long lost love, the P.B. Crisps.
Planters and Kraft. To you, our generation speaks out. We have successfully brought back such nostalgic food and beverage items such as Crispy M&M's, French Toast Crunch, Surge and Crystal Pepsi. Hell, we even somehow without EVER asking, resurrected ZIMA. Our generation challenges you and your corporation to be a leader in foods of yesteryear. We challenge you to take the responsibility of our children's tastebuds and bring P.B. Crisps back to shelves nationwide so that America can stand proud that we have finally won.
Planters, you may not be the hero that everybody wants, but now is your glimmering oppertunity to be the hero that everybody deserves. Go forth into your factories. Forge the crispety chrunchety peanut shaped exo-skeleton of cookie greatness. Fill it with the life blood of peanut buttery immortality and seal it air tight in a bag. For the American people will fight, and will continue to go to battle until we liberate the P.B. Crisps from the tomb of snack food's past. ALL WHO IS WITH US... YOU ARE THE VOICE! YOU ARE THE THUNDER ROLLING THROUGH THE HILLS!!! STAND WITH US AS WE REINCARNATE THE PB CRISPS.
YOU CAN TAKE OUR PEANUT BUTTERY COOKIE, BUT YOU CAN NOT TAKE OUR FREEDOM!!!!
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