The undersigned request that the new brexit lorry park in kent be named after Nigel Farage, without his years of selfish grift, dissembling and misapplied zeal on the behalf of the more gullible voters of Kent this project just would not be happening. It is fitting that every lorry driver, every commuter and every local resident has a chance to link this fine example of civil engineering to its true hero.

It maybe the Mr Farage will be unable or unwilling to attend the unveiling of this great honour that we do him but that shouldn’t get in the way of seeing his name and huge gurn plastered all over the boundary fence at regular intervals topped by a coil of razor wire no doubt festooned with the shreds of black farmers plastic known as witches knickers. For the foreseeable future everyone should genuinely be able to refer to this diesel soaked valhalla as Nigel’s Folly.