First, Jolly wanted me to express his sincerest gratitude for the outpouring of love and support he’s received throughout this difficult time. Last week he finally got set up with a primary care physician (we moved into our new home only 3 days prior to his sudden hospitalization). The appointment went well but left him with more questions than answers. Wednesday we had our initial interview with the VA caregiver support program who after over 2 1/2 on a video call told me she expected there was a high likelihood of denial since they’re unsure just how long his recovery will be (his primary care said 8+ months minimum but I guess that’s too vague for the VA). On Christmas Eve we have our second interview this time with a nurse for the program. After that there will be a 5-6 week waiting period to hear if we’re approved to move into the next step. At this point with all the bureaucracy already involved I’m not sure I even want to be a part of the program, the only resource I requested from them was support for ostomies and those caring for people with ostomies of which they had ZERO resources for either.

 Jolly continues to battle with his mental health. It’s been steadily declining since surgery. He’s lost over 20lbs since surgery and he really didn’t have much to lose so his muscle strength has decreased significantly. Right now his thighs are the size his forearms once were. He’s finding it difficult to navigate how to gain weight and strength with the ileostomy because of how differently his body now absorbs nutrients. We welcome any advice or guidance that anyone may have to share on this. 

After reaching out to state representatives, we have heard back from one senator who merely sent a generic letter saying “we spoke to the VA and they said they received your claim and we believe they’ll take care of you from here”.  That wasn’t the point… the point was the 8 years of misdiagnosis, denials, gaslighting and lack of accountability that led him to where he is now… without his appendix or sigmoid colon. It’s so frustrating that no one with the means to help seems to understand the big picture problem or cares enough to actually do anything to help. Jolly is not the only service member from that deployment who has experienced significant health issues but he’s one who is willing to scream from the rooftops about it so no one else has to endure the agony he has these past few years. The VA doesn’t like that much and that’s beyond evident.

Throughout this holiday season it’s been difficult to remain joyful and festive but there have been moments of great joy from all across the world. Jolly’s childhood hero, the Blue Ranger himself sent words of encouragement and this brightened his heart in a way I haven’t seen since surgery. Two fellow Marine Veterans reached out and helped to ensure our insurance and utility bills were paid for the month. Each day some meaningful act or caring gesture or kind message comes through and reignites our belief in how much good there is in the world.

This time in our lives is hard especially being the holidays but knowing Jolly isn’t alone through it makes all the difference. Together we can and must use our voices to speak up and speak out about the 2016 USS Boxer incident and demand accountability and immediate action. Every service member aboard that ship deserves justice for the toxic chemical exposure they endured and catastrophic failure of the command element to do anything about it for FOUR months. It’s reprehensible and it’s past time to stand up and fight for what is right. Please continue to share, write your state representatives, make social media posts and be loud because if enough of us speak out they won’t be able to silence us all. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Wishing you health, happiness and prosperity throughout the season and every day. 

❤️

With eternal gratitude,

Ashley & Jolly Gonos