Christmas and the build up to New Year is always hell when you have the past keep coming to you in dreams and thoughts and pain. The pain not eased with no savings or money to help you. This year been a mix of love and hell...... Hell in that had no funds to do what I wanted to treat my family. The benefits are totally inadequate and all the demands for council tax and fuel bills too much .... then the government being stubborn as donkeys on the WASPI issue of those born in the 1950s not able to get their state pension. This would help me to some extent. The debate was horrendous with one Tory backbencher saying all our tax and NI contributions are mathematical illusions!!! I am not the criminal in this situation of domestic violence I have been the victim that survived all the abuse upon me....yet I am treated by the system as a criminal... feel trapped in the poverty pain that I am being pushed and pushed more into. .. All attaches you to the past the reason why you are in this situation.... that of the violent perpetrator financially crippling you. My abuser getting away with all this too!! Lying low somewhere that the bailiffs to issue him with a divorce petition cannot find. Let down with CPS as my pin and plate in my broken arm deemed insufficient evidence of his brutal kicking of me! I am trying so hard to keep strong in all this and will do so as I know I am one of a millions of women being let down by the system, not getting the said funds that government white wash the public with claims off... and are being tortured by a failed system. I had to see a surgeon the other day so my health is now costing the NHS from this lack of proper support... the reason for all the problems insufficient diet... from insufficient funds.... I was abused by an internet troll the other day saying go to work, no care and compassion to the pain I am in... !!!! yes would love to be working a couple of shifts as week bringing in life as a midwife but that has gone its over! I could teach if someone would have me... I have worked since 1969. My career as been lost due to the DV abuse upon me... I do try to find work even set up my own projects and study online to improve my CV to add light in these dark days... But I do not get any offers of paid work... I get offers of voluntary unpaid work but not paid contract..... thus continue to be reliant on the benefits that I have paid into... it is hard for me supporters as been looking at some of my payslips as agency midwife and nurse... could earn £1000 a week with busy shifts nights and weekends..... but that would get hammered with tax and NI... so this is so so painful a situation to be in... now surviving on just over £5 a day!!! I will continue the petition into the New Year as SADLY and DISAPPOINTINGLY not had any appointment with John McDonnell to discuss how we are going to challenge government on the issue of providing a STRONG AND STABLE SUPPORT FOR WOMEN SURVIVORS to help heal and detox from the ugliness of violence upon her and to rebuild her life with financial dignity and freedom.. Thanks for your support keep sharing this petition lets get it going viral as the problem is already viral... I know from the study of the subject of domestic violence and being the expert by experience.. that this Christmas more women will have joined the ranks of being abused and hurt...... lets help them heal.... and bring perpetrators to accountability for their criminal behaviour...... thanks Marjorie