For years, Jeb Bush has been forced to squeeze himself into the unlivable confines of his family's political lineage. We've watched him grow thin, dull-eyed, and recently, void of all will to live. Please help us urge his campaign handlers to release Jeb into the wild of "not running for president," so he can thrive in his natural habitat, somewhere in the Florida suburbs.  

This is not just about Jeb:

By demanding that Jeb be freed, you are taking a stand for people everywhere who are running for president just because their fathers and brothers did. By signing this petition, you are doing your part to show the world that America cares about the basic human rights of worn-out political heirs who just want to be left alone. Help us end this madness. Free Jeb Bush.  

To: Jeb Bush's Campaign and SuperPAC

For the sake of basic human rights, please free Jeb Bush from the Republican primaries. The campaign trail is not his natural habitat. Forcing this intelligent, sensitive mammal to try to cope in these unnatural conditions is inhumane. By freeing Jeb Bush, you will pave the way for a more ethical treatment of all presidential candidates whose family members have already been president. Please set this poor man free.