Friends,
Having practiced law for many years, I would be the first to tell you that going to court is rarely your best or easiest choice. Doing so is stressful, expensive, and rarely does much to resolve the underlying issues. But there are times when it’s necessary.
That’s the case with members of Episcopal priest Bob Malm’s family Lindsey Anders (his daughter) and Leslie Malm (his wife). Both have repeatedly lied in public about our conflict and engaged in ad hominem attacks that rise to the level of defamation. These include claims that I have engaged in criminal conduct, including illegally misusing church funds.
Virginia sets a high bar in defamation cases, including requiring the plaintiff to provide the exact defamatory words allegedly used by the defendant. I am well aware of those requirements and believe the evidence will show defamation and legal malice.
Because several statements made by Leslie and Lindsey involve false claims that I have engaged in illegal activity, no showing of actual damages is required. Instead, Virginia, as with most states, treats such statements as defamation per se and permits imposition of punitive damages.
Needless to say, had the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia taken this matter seriously when it first arose and honored my request to mediate things, this unfortunate turn of events might have been avoided. But as it stands, the church claims that the matter is “not of weighty and material importance to the ministry of the church.” Additionally, when our earlier ceasefire first began to unravel, Bishop Susan Goff refused to honor Canon Pat Wingo’s offer that she could help both sides work through issues that might arise.
Ironically, while the church claims that the whole matter is beneath its lofty dignity, it decries the damage that the conflict is causing the church. In other words, it worries about attendance, giving, and reputation, but doesn’t give a rat’s rear about the real people involved. And that’s the heart of the problem—a church that’s become all about protecting the institution, versus all about God.
There’s another wrinkle in the upcoming lawsuits, which is that they likely will further illustrate the extent of Bob Malm’s fabrications and the toxic culture that exists right beneath the bright shiny surface of Grace Episcopal Alexandria. Yes, everything is polished, glittery, and beautiful at the church, right until you scratch the surface and realize that this is a church where:
- It’s okay to urge people to commit suicide.
- Church attorney Jeffery Chiow includes multiple fabrications in his legal filings, including making up fictional church shootings in nonexistent towns in Texas.
- The church tries to drag a dying woman into court.
- Diocesan officials turn a blind eye to Bob Malm’s perjury, done in writing, under oath and notarized, and while advised by church legal counsel Jeffery Chiow.
- The rector and vestry lie to church members, saying I left the church voluntarily. (Bob Malm previously admitted in front of the bishop during our meeting in Fredericksburg that this was NOT true, saying, “When someone does something to me, I do something to them.” How very Christian.)
- The church names part of the building after an abusive priest.
So, with a memorial reception being held today for Mom in her hometown of Franklin PA, please consider sharing this petition. Mom believed in the importance of doing what’s right, even when it’s not easy.
Your kind continuing support means a lot to me and my remaining family.
Eric