Thank you all SO MUCH for your support!

This week I sent the following letter to The First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Names have been changed for privacy.

I have not heard back yet from anyone in Church leadership.

The Letter
Dear President Nelson, Elder Oaks and Elder Eyring,

My name is Mike Frazier. I am a psychiatrist and member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I recently started a petition to change the way that the Church handles allegations of abuse. You can view that petition here: https://www.change.org/stopldsabuse

It currently has over 500 signatures.

I also host this website: http://stopldsabuse.com

My goal in creating this petition is to help The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to be a leader and example in how it protects, aids and provides justice for its members who suffer from abuse.

Right now, I know there are some things in place, such as online trainings for leaders, online resources, and a hotline for leaders to call.

However, these often fall short. Victims of abuse are still treated unfairly and sometimes even DISCIPLINED by their church leaders while their abusers go on in full Church fellowship, even attending the temple.

The problem is that there is no clear recourse for victims of abuse if they feel their case has been mismanaged by their local leaders.

No easy way for a member of the Church to call and get legal support, counseling support, and the opportunity to have their voice heard in a church hearing against their abuser.

That’s what I would like to create in the Church, together with other professionals.

Abuse is a problem in EVERY organization, including The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I see this as an opportunity to show the world that the Church is going to be AGGRESSIVE and be a LEADER in helping to protect its members from abuse, and aid and support its members who are abused.

Our Story

My wife Elizabeth was sexually abused by her parents, from age 4 to age 23

During this entire time, her parents were held in high standing in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

They held callings. They were temple recommend holders. They even served a Church service mission in San Diego.

They hid their second life well. And my wife didn't feel safe enough to report this abuse until years after she was free from it.

But, she did build up the courage and we reported this abuse by sending letters to our Church leaders, her parents' Church leaders, her parents' Mission Presidents, and two of the 12 Apostles.

In fact, we even confronted her parents IN FRONT OF their mission president.

When I told the mission president that two of his missionaries had abused their daughter, my wife, the mission president's response was "I have to trust the interview process."

In other words, I have to believe THEM over YOU.

No disciplinary action was taken towards her parents by the Church. They continued their mission in San Diego.

There was no chance for us to testify against them in a Church hearing.

We never heard anything about our complaint against her parents, even after reaching out to so many people.

THIS IS WRONG.

It is NOT what Jesus would want happening in His Church.

At the very least, it would have been nice to know our complaints were taken seriously, and what kind of action was taken towards her parents.

And, in my opinion, we should have had the opportunity to testify against them in a Church hearing.

Instead, we were approached by our bishop and told that we should not really worry or contact anyone else about this.

Overall, the Church’s system of carrying out JUSTICE against abusers and PROTECTING victims of abuse is wanting.

Other Stories
Unfortunately, we know that our story is not the only one.

Here is one sample of stories I am collecting and will continue to collect where similar problems have occurred.

I do plan on publishing these stories. They need to be heard.

Abuse happened.

It was reported to Church leaders.

No disciplinary action was taken against the abuser.

And often the victim was treated in a way that made the trauma worse.

The Story Of M.S.
The Abuse
Tom touched me inappropriately, and then started to do it more because I would freeze and dissociate, and not be able to remember clearly what he had done to me.  I was 23 and 24 in 1994 and 1995.

Tom, and then his roommate, Tim, raped me, in April 1995.  I had moved some miles to get away from him, but BYU gave him my new address.  I had not seen him in months, but Tom told me he just need to give me back a few things, if I would just open the door to my place.  

He came in, and he saw that I was alone, and he forced me into the bedroom.  He covered my mouth and held me down.  He made me take a shower with him, as my roommates had come home while he was hurting me.  He then snuck out my window.  He then told his roommate what he had done.  I was traumatized and scared, and unable to function.  

His roommate Tim came to my house a few days later, and said Tom had told him what had happened, and he knew I needed someone to talk to, said we just go for a short drive, because he knew I wouldn't want my roommates to hear what had happened. He took me to their apartment.  I begged him to take me home, I had low blood sugar and nearly passed out.  He said I would be fine, gave me some sugar, and locked us in his room.  

When he started to undress I begged him to let me go, to please not hurt me.  He told me I was already ruined, and he knew, and if I wouldn't stop fighting him he would go and hurt some other innocent girl, and her rape would be all my fault.  

I was mad, and hurt, and believed I was worthless.  He made me stay all night with him laying on top of me so I could not get away.  In the morning he pushed me out the window, and then drove me up to the school and dropped me off for my morning class.  

How Church Leaders Handled The Report
A few days after I was raped by these two BYU students, I went and spoke to my bishop and then my stake president seeking support and some idea of what to do.  I was afraid that I might be pregnant or have some sort of sexually transmitted disease.  I was traumatized and afraid.  

The result was that I was made to feel at fault, and was asked not to partake of the sacrament and or speak in church.  Tom and Tim went to their other roommate's temple wedding the next week, and continued on as BYU students.  

When I asked my parents for money to be able to see a doctor, they asked why.  I told them what had happened, and my father and mother, who were leaving to serve as mission president and his wife, said I must have done something to cause them to do that to me.  They also said that they were very disappointed in me, and that I needed to repent severely, that only a wicked woman could entice a man to do something so evil, and against God's commandments.  They insisted that I come live with them on the mission, and continued to be disappointed and angry that I let something like that happen.

What The Abuse Cost M.S.
Trying to recover from this has cost me 10 or more therapists over many years and thousands and thousands of dollars spent on therapy.

More than the monetary cost, it has cost me 23 years of fear and self loathing, Anger and loss of trust in God, Lack of trust in church authorities, an irrational fear of being alone, an inability to enjoy sex with my husband, a constant checking and rechecking if all doors and windows are locked, constant nightmares for years, more disassociation events when my husband would try to be intimate with me, a belief that God didn't love me, or he would have stopped such events from happening, a fear of all men, and very little confidence in their motives, recurring trauma triggered by hearing or seeing or reading about anything remotely related to similar events, constant fear that God will never accept me, worry that I was being punished somehow for I don't know what,  ultimately hopelessness that I will ever feel okay, or not afraid.

Unfortunately President Nelson, Elder Oaks and Elder Eyring, these are not isolated incidents.

They happen more often than any of us would like to admit in the Church.

Why Justice Matters
Survivors of abuse need to be HEARD, SUPPORTED and offered JUSTICE.

Abusers need to be HELD ACCOUNTABLE by the Church.

The wheat needs to be separated from the tares. The bad apples need to be removed.

Otherwise, our Church is not SAFE for ourselves and our children.

Jesus taught that "whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." Matthew 18:6.

The Book of Mormon teaches us that evil doers in the Church need to be held accountable: (Mosiah 26, in particular verse 34 and 36):

"And it came to pass that Alma went and judged those that had been taken in iniquity, according to the word of the Lord..."

"And those that would not confess their sins and repent of their iniquity, the same were not numbered among the people of the church, and their names were blotted out."

And the Doctrine and Covenants teaches us that evil doers in the Church need to be held accountable (D&C 64, in particular verses 12-14):

"And him that repenteth not of his sins, and confesseth them not, ye shall bring before the church, and do with him as the scripture saith unto you, either by commandment or by revelation..."

In other words, the scriptures tell us clearly that justice NEEDS to be served in the Church.

What Happens Now When Someone Reports Abuse
Unfortunately, there is currently NO clear process for a SURVIVOR of abuse to get HELP and JUSTICE in the Church.

Once abuse is reported, it goes into a sort of "black hole."

Something might happen, something might not. It depends heavily on how the Church leader chooses to respond.

Even if something does happen to their abuser, the survivor of abuse is rarely made aware of the outcome.

They might get support through the process of healing, and they might not.

This CAN NOT CONTINUE.

We NEED a clear process for a SURVIVOR of abuse to get HELP and be able to seek JUSTICE.

I know that Church leaders can call a hotline to get legal advice. And the Church does have resources for victims of abuse can call.

But WHERE CAN A VICTIM GO if they’re not happy with how their leader responds right now?

Where is the Church’s internal justice system to protect the innocent and remove the guilty from the Church?

What We Can Do
I don't believe in complaining about something unless I have some kind of solution in mind.

The goal of this letter is to create a clear process for survivors of abuse who are members of 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to:

1. Get helpful resources to help them heal from abuse and find safety

2. Pursue appropriate legal action if desired

3. Pursue Church justice if desired and if their abuser is a member of the Church

This will require a separate division or entity of the Church.

For now, I will refer to this as an "internal affairs" division of the Church.

A separate entity that provides support for victims of abuse and investigates and tries claims of abuse against Church members.

This entity will include professionals in law and treatment of trauma and will include women.

Inclusion of women is VERY necessary, as most victims of abuse are women and feel uncomfortable around men. Especially men in authority.

While there are many GREAT benefits to the lay-leadership of the Church, once a claim of abuse is made, it's better that it gets turned over to professionals.

I believe this will be a RELIEF to most leaders and a huge help to survivors of abuse.

How Abuse Allegations Could Be Handled Step-By-Step
Here is potentially how a claim of abuse would be handled once this department is created:

1. A Church member reports their abuse (past or present) to a Church leader (we'll assume it's a Bishop).

If the survivor would rather call the hotline on their own, they would be welcome to do that. The number will be easily available on the Church's website.

2. The Bishop shows love and concern and gets on the phone with the abuse hotline. This hotline would be confidential, not needing to know names or location of where the survivor lives. The Bishop and survivor work together with the hotline through the next steps.

3. The victim will speak with a professional who answers the phone, and will be assigned a case worker who will be their contact person through the process. The professional will provide helpful resources for therapy and give guidance for immediate steps to take for safety if necessary. They will also ask if the survivor wants to pursue criminal legal action.

4. If the survivor wants to pursue legal action, the case worker helps coordinate this and lets law enforcement take the lead, with Church support through the process.

5. If the survivor does NOT want to pursue legal action, the Church internal affairs department will appropriately document this to make sure the Church complies with any legal standards.

6. If the alleged abuser is a member of the Church, the victim will then be asked if they want to pursue Church disciplinary action against this member. They will be assured that it will be handled OUTSIDE the ward and stake to avoid bias and, as much as possible, embarrassment.

Elder Oaks, as a man of the law, you understand why an impartial jury is important in a hearing.

If a jury is overly sympathetic or overly antagonistic towards a defendant, justice is not likely to be served.

If the alleged abuser’s hearing is held by his bishop or stake president, someone that likely knows this person well (or thinks they do)... 

That hearing is VERY unlikely to be impartial.

7. If the victim does NOT want to pursue Church disciplinary action, the victim's name and alleged abuser's name are noted, again in accordance with any legal requirements to protect the Church and the survivor.

8. If the victim DOES want to pursue Church disciplinary action, the internal affairs department performs an investigation and then holds a hearing.

9. The victim has the opportunity to testify against their abuser in the court hearing, by writing or in person. The hearing INCLUDES WOMEN as part of the decision making and support process.

10. The victim and alleged abuser are informed of the outcome of the hearing, which may include Church discipline and excommunication. If found guilty, the abuser's membership record is marked as an abuser and that person may no longer serve in positions where they have opportunities to abuse others (for example, in positions where they may be 1 on 1 with youth or interviewing people).

Prevention Of Abuse
As the list of abusers is compiled, Church leaders would cross-reference this list before calling someone into a position where they may work with youth or be in interviewing positions.

This "internal affairs" division would also be responsible for performing criminal background checks on Church members BEFORE they are called into positions with youth or positions where they would do 1 on 1 interviews.

Criminal records could also be made available on LDS tools for any member to see. The Church has a high trust level of each other, but this trust is not always appropriate.

It can lead to poor decisions in who teaches or babysits children, as in the case of Christopher Michael Jensen.

Had the mothers been able to see that he had been arrested for molesting children, they probably would not have let him babysit their children.

As the Church has already started to do, having youth interviewed with more than 1 person in the room is also a good idea to help prevent inappropriate abuse.

As the Doctrine and Covenants tells us, “We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.” D&C 121:39.

Unfortunately this is true of members of the Church as well, including Church leaders.

The Overall Mission
We want The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to be the SAFEST place on earth for survivors of abuse.

That means that there is a clear, easy-to-use, survivor-supportive system of justice where survivors can get the help they need and dangerous people can be identified and removed from the Church.

What we envision is a Church that does MORE than what is legally required to protect its members from abuse.

And that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints leads the way and becomes an example for other organizations to follow in protecting its members from abuse, and aiding and supporting its members who suffer from abuse.

It's absolutely what Jesus would want for His Church.

I would love to set up a meeting with you to help make this department and process a reality.

It will take combined input from many professionals, time, and resources to make it a reality, but it is well worth the effort.

Let’s make the Church a safer place for ourselves and our children, and be an example for other organizations to follow in protecting its members from abuse, and aiding and supporting its members who suffer from abuse.

Mike Frazier, MD