Hi all

Many thanks to our signers, sharers and donators - your support means the world to us and others who may be affected by cemetery rule changes petitioned for by "Edinburgh Council to reinstate "No Dogs in Cemeteries" rule that was in place pre-Covid".

We're almost at 500!

As people will see that petition has issued an update from the man behind all this Paul.

As we have stated we have no ill will against Paul, we in fact really feel for him and what he has been through. However, as he himself stated when he said  "I am very aware that this is not just about me" this is not just about him.

He mentions the Facebook group where it all started. This is a closed group we do not have access to and having heard of the trouble caused by these issues for the moderators do not feel it appropriate to join to report on information. One of our supporters is in the group but cannot see the post as it was written by Paul who has blocked them after they refused to retract their heartfelt concerns re the matter. They were the probably the person Paul mentions although they have told us there were other people who raised concerns and their posts recieved many likes - so there was support for their views and opposition to Paul's which is how this counter petition came about.

We'd also like to say we feel this has gone far beyond exercising dogs - a new definition in terms of the petition who has previously stated they want a "No dogs" rule (with excemptions).

There are many people who use cemetries with their dogs the big one being mourners - who if the petitioned new rule or even law was passed would be at risk of having to prove why they were in the cemetery - which we feel is highly inappropriateand possibly very damaging. There may be others who use the cemetrey with their dogs for very valid reasons not for mourning but related to the unique enviroment a cemetrey offers such as people with recognised conditions like PTSD or Autism. We have discussed this in detail in other updates, including articles on the mental health and wellbeing benefits of visiting cemetries.

We have also discussed the importance that the cemetery can hold for people in terms of safety, solace and contemplation - something not acknowledged by the other petition. Something which people with dogs should also be able to access, especially people with support dogs who may have their dog for the same reasons they go to cemetries for mental health and wellbeing.

We have, however, refrained from issuing "heartfelt" pleas and indeed refrained from making our main statement too emotion filled.  

We didn't want to make it personal or muddy the waters with personal stories in fact to a degree we wanted to keep some details private to honour the people we have lost and keep something special with them - we wanted people to decide on facts not because they felt sorry for us. 

Nor did we want to enter into some kind of weird and inappropriate grief contest gaining more signers based on who people felt more sorry for.

Instead, we reported on facts. We shared who decides on council cemetery matters, what Edinburgh cemetries are under the council remit and why some Edinburgh cemetries do not allow dogs (private cemetries) but others do (council cemetries and possibly some private ones). We shared council decisions relating to the rules including how many complaints had been recieved in a year and how many cemetries this related to - we shared documents, links to documents, and a webcast. We shared what the rules were and how to complain about breaches. We shared research and publications on the importance cemetries can have for people, we gave the full side of the situation in Angus council and an article on American cemetries when the other petition gave half. We have spent copious amounts of time responding to requests or comments by the other petition  to ensure they and other people are clear as to what we want and to ensure full dactswere reported. We have shared some stories of others who would potentially be affected by the rule changes to illustrate who will ne affected by rules. We have corresponded with councillors, MSPs and MPs re the matter and given feedback from this - including that the Council have no plans to review this in the "near future" and that according to government legislation the council should govern cemeteries and make related rules. 

Was this wrong? Should we have focused on telling our story, issuing heartfelt pleas and winning hearts rather than giving people facts so they could make an informed decision?

Given we have nearly 500 supporters we feel not, however, we are not entirely sure.

Some of the comments in support of the other petition would suggest, yes, we were wrong and it's feelings not facts which makes decisions.

"I’m so sorry to hear this is happening. I really hope people listen and respect how traumatic this is for you. I really hope your voice is heard xxx"

"So sorry for the loss of your son and that you are having to deal with this Paul. As a dog owner I support you. A cemetery is no place to exercise dogs. Particularly as there are so many other green spaces we can take them in this area - it is completely unnecessary."

There are many other comments like this where it is unclear whether supporters are supporting as they truely believe the rules need changed and have a good idea of the actual facts or whether they are supporting as they (understandably) feel bad for Paul and his family.

Just a quick side-step. The last quote about being a dog walker and not exercising their dog in a cemetrey is common throughout the statements they have shared and the statements people put in support of the petition. Many dog walkers state they don't exercise their dogs in cemeteries which is what the petiton now states they are against, so is this really an issue? 

And back to our main topic. One person on next door suggested we were wrong in our facts over feelings posts and that "personal stories are what this is about".

You can find the post here, it includes a very personal story posted with the permission of one of our supporters :

https://nextdoor.co.uk/p/5m978BhL2HR2?view=detail

So here we are going to open our hearts and issue a heartfelt plea to please consider who could be affected by any rule or law change and how. We ask you to consider that rules already exist to address the problems behaviours noted and the council are trying to educate people on following the rules. 

We plead with you to understand that people may take their dogs to cemetries for reasons other than exercise and that many of them follow rules, take care of dog fouling and act responsibly and respectfully. Please remember they may be visiting loved ones or find the cemetery a safe place or a place for contemplation.

We plea with you on behalf of:

Myself (the writer of this counter petition), I regularly visit a loved one with my dog due to my anxiety and as the loved one would have wanted this. I plea with you not to make it so that if I visit that loved one with my dog we will be approached by strangers to justify my grief and why I am visiting with my dog in order to not to get a fine. I plead to you to allow me to keep my deep grief private and not have to expose my hurt to someone I don't know.

We plea with you for my loved one who would have wanted me to visit with my dog in an unhindered  dignified manner not having to prove why I am there.

We plea on behalf of deceased people in cemetries who loved animals in life and would like to see a dog visiting them in their death.

We plea with you for the solo women and vunerable people who the council identified as feeling safer walking in cemetries. 

We plead with you on behalf of our supporter with PTSD following a brutal assault at work who visits loved ones with their dog for emotional support. We plead with you to support them so that they don't get triggered and have a panic attack when approached by a stranger who is checking if they are a mourner and should be in the cemetery.

We issue a plea for the person with PTSD and Autism that sometimes goes to a cemetrey that you support them on days that they cannot face the world and need the safe, secure place of solace that a cemetrey provides, please don't let that be taken away from them.

We plea with you on behalf of our neighbour with COPD who cannot walk far and needs frequents rests to allow him to walk in cemeteries with his dog where he can rest on benches.

We plea with you on behalf of the schoolboy we know who gets bullied at school and walks with his dog for a sense of safety and comfort. We plea you support him to be able to visit cemetries where it is quiet and he feels safe and he can study the history of the inhabitants and forget his troubles for even a short while.

We plea with you on behalf of the gentleman we frequently meet with his dog when visiting our own relatives. He is an older gentleman who's children and grand childrem have growm and left the city, he has few friends left and he was married to his wife and best friend for 66 years before she died - now he only has his dog for love, support and ckmpany. We'd ask you to support him to visit the cemetery with his dog to honour his wife, she was cremated so he has nowhere to visit but they would often walk there when she was alive and he feels close to her there. Please let him keep that connection to his wife.

We plea with you on behalf of the people thay have written to us with similar stories and all the other people who's stories we don't know who use cemetries with their dogs responsibly, respectfully and in keeping with rules - please don't let this place of mourning and safety be taken away from them. 

We plea with you to sign and share this petition widely to ensure rules are not changed and people can continue to use cemetries as a place of mourning and for comfort and solace during troubled times.