I'm picking up a nice blue bag of delicious baked potatoes, thinking I'm about to enjoy a wonderful cheesey delight. But to my horror my tastebuds are welcomed by a salty surprise. I am taken aback, my body rejects this unexpected sensation.

I can't eat for a week.

I'm tired of crisp companies instilling terror into the souls of innocent civilians due to their inability to establish a standard of packaging-related colour coordination. This petition is aimed at ensuring that the crisp giants resolve that.

Please help me change the world.