Pineapple on pizza is a corruption of such a beautiful thing. The moment that you allow savory cheese, dough, and possibly: marinara sauce, olives, bacon, sausage, chicken, etc.) to touch sickeningly sweet, burnt pineapple, you will forever scald in the boiling water and noodles of Fettuccini Hell.

I plan on banning this heinous crime everywhere except Hawaii which will converted to a penal colony.

If we receive 33,000 signatures I hope that this evil will be banned and the sick perpetrators will be exiled to Hawaii.