The 2016 AFL season is becoming a charade. Fans are turning up to games, buying memberships, turning on their FOXTEL, in the hope of seeing their team win the flag. But giving false hope to these poor people is cruel and malicious, when everybody knows that those young Bulldogs from Western have already sewed up the premiership this year and for the next decade. Statistics show us Gerard, that the Bulldogs are an amazingly talented, highly entertaining, pre-pubescent team. They are so good in fact, they should be awarded the points in games that the scoreboard showed they "lost", for in fact they only had one less scoring shot and should have kicked straighter, taking into account their amazingness. So I call on the AFL commission to bring forward the presentation of the premiership cup to the Western Bulldogs. This will allow the rest of the AFL public to marvel in their greatness, while Channel 7 broadcasts a Bulldogs intra-club every Friday night and we can all bathe in their never-ending depth. This will allow the other 17 clubs to dedicate their time to helping manage Bulldog injuries and building them a trophy cabinet that they so desperately need. To promote Western's family values, revenues from the seventeen other minnow clubs should be immediately directed towards a 100 foot rusty statue of Simon Atkins on all fours, titled "Brotherly Love". Furthermore, I call on Daniel Andrews to declare Tuesdays to be a public holiday, to allow a parade through the Melbourne CBD every week by "Our Bob". The parade should end at the MCG (if Our Bob knows where that is), and 100,000 people can be granted the opportunity to benefit from his wisdom and overall hipsterness. All hosted by AFL360 family, Gerard and Robbo of course. Each Tuesday, lucky worshippers will have the chance to be blessed by "Our Bob's" sideburns. Finally, I believe that the AFL's MRP and tribunal should be replaced by future Brownlow Medalist, the Bont. The AFL public is constantly confused by the MRP's findings and this process can be streamlined thanks to the wisdom of the Bont. He can grade all acts based on maliciousness, with extra weeks added if the victim's father took them to the hospital. If a player is found guilty, he shall also gift his victim with goats, the number commensurate with the weeks penalty he received. For instance a six week suspension would require the guilty player to give his victim a six pack of goats. Make it happen Gill.