Anybody who knows Phenixx knows that,

 1. She don’t need no man, and

2. She can always do better.

Which is why all of America is so shocked that Phenixx has chosen to shack up and go to the historical Homecoming Dance with the troll under the bridge, C*n**n B*rrow. We all know that she can do better, so why don’t she dump that ZERO, and get her a HERO???

That’s where we come in. As Americans, we have the right—nay, the PRIVILIGE— to organize a petition to get that loser out of office (The heart of our fierce and fearless leader, Phenixx). We need to #GETHIMBANNED. WHO’S WITH ME????????