When Nick Castellanos signed with the Phillies back in March, the majority of the fan base saw the talented slugger as the final piece to a playoff roster. The longstanding October absence by Philadelphia was set to end with Castellanos' bat in the lineup.

But, before the season even began, Nick Castellanos and his innocent family had a spell of dark magic unknowingly cast upon them: they bought former Sixer, Ben Simmons’ house.

Simmons, if you may remember, is the spineless coward who cost the Sixers a berth in the Eastern Conference Finals last season after passing up a dunk in the waning moments of Game 7 against the Atlanta Hawks. Or you may remember him from shooting a historically low 33% from the free throw line in that series. He then refused to take accountability or play for the Sixers (or any team) by faking a back injury. It would not be an exaggeration to say he is the single biggest villain to haunt a town since Vecna in Hawkins, Indiana in 1986. 

Rumor has it, you can still hear the clank of Simmons free throws as you walk the halls of the New Jersey mansion at night. The “Simmo the Savage” sign illuminates the corridors of the home like the green light at Daisy’s East Egg dock in The Great Gatsby.

It is imperative that Nick Castellanos sell the home more haunted than the Murder House in American Horror Story if he would like to save his career here in Philadelphia. 

Castellanos’ has a lower OPS than the corpse of Albert Pujols this season. But, Nick does lead the universe in momentum killing double-plays.

We as Phillies fans have been deprived of playoff baseball for far too long. If Nick Castellanos continues to stay in this dark magic house, we will continue to be deprived. He must sell his home, and sell it fast.

It has been a decade without competitive October baseball in Philadelphia. Nick Castellanos and his cursed performances will continue that demoralizing trend. 

SIGN THIS PETITION TO MAKE NICK CASTELLANOS SELL HIS HOUSE.